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WHY is life sooooo cruel? Part 10

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    I am a 30 year old male who lives in Hampshire and more recently West Sussex.
    My weight is 30 Stone, my BMI is hovering around 57/58.
    I have Barretts, Arthritic Joints, Very bad Back Pain, Weak Knee’s, Weak Ankles, Sleepness nights through Aponea & stress, Asthma and get very short of breath and I have just had my anti depressants increased and have now been off work for nearly a year with all the above problems.
    I have been on many many diets and weight loss groups but these dont seem to work for me.
    I have been on Reductil and more recently Orlastat but I just cant control what I eat.
    My doctors have been trying to get funding for me from Hampshire PCT for 3 years but each time, they say my BMI must be 60 and have a life threatening condition, my doctors have said that if I put much more weight on, I will pay the ultimate price. (death) and this worries me senseless.
    My doctor has written to St Richards to request an appointment but, although I live in West Sussex now, I am still with my same doctors surgery which is on the Hants / West Sussex PCT borders and does refferals to both PCT’s, but the Gastric funding doesnt come from their surgery as they are funded by Hampshire PCT.
    I have just left the doctors now, and I am actually very emotional as I am writing this.
    I am not looking for any kind of sympathy but just some help really, as I do not know where to go from here.
    I wake up in the mornings and dont want to get up and I go to bed at night now wishing I wouldnt wake up the next day and this is not me at all. I used to be very happy and outgoing and people look at me strange when I say that I have an addiction to food, but I do, I wish I didnt but I do.
    I have written to MP’s, The Prime Minister, and many other people that I thought might be able to help in the past but they all say its policy and thats that.
    If I were to put more weight on to meet Hampshire criteria then I would die.
    I can not get a loan to go private and cant get any one to get approved for a loan for me.
    Please please please if anyone has any idea what I can do then please let me know.

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