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What do I tell my 8yr old about my surgery???

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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #30282
    Phoenix
    Member

    I’m due to go into hospital next week for my RNY and, as yet, have not mentioned a thing to my 8yr old daughter.

    Hubby and I have discussed it until we are blue in the face and have not yet come up with a suitable solution. She is a real Mummy’s Girl and will be distraught at me going to hospital and I know will get herself quite worked up about it and will more than like then get tummy aches and nightmares as is usual when she is anxious.

    However, I don’t want to say nothing because then that is shielding her from the reality that people sometimes have to go into hospital but they do get better and come out. Her last experience of a relative being in hospital was my Dad, her Grandad, who died in hospital when she was 3 and she has never forgotten going to see him and then him dying a few days later 🙁

    I want to tell her but want to make it seem as routine as possible but how on earth do I do than when I’m going to be in for at least 2 nights??? There is definitely a part of me that says I should let her know I’m going into hospital but I am definitely not mentioning wls – please any comments or advice would be most helpful!

    Thank you guys x

    #38187
    neenee
    Member

    Hi all I have told my girls 5yrs & 6yrs old is mummy having a op and I have to stay so the Doctors an nurses can look after me I’ve also told them that Mummy’s tummy will be tender so no jumping but kept it very simple I have asked my Mum to have a chat with them when i’m in hospital shes good at that sort of things but as my girls are younger i think it different.

    Hope it helps a little xx Thinking of you xx

    #38186
    Andy
    Member

    Hi Phoenix

    When i had my op i told my boys everything they were 14 & 8 at the time. Unfortunately i have had several hospital stays in the last few years so it wasn’t as traumatic for them, although the 8 year old stuggles with either my hubby or i not being at home. To be honest i suffered more, kept the details simple, you know Mummy wil have a sore tummy, only a few days etc. I don’t know if it helps ,but i find kids more resiliant than adults, i know it doesn’t help at the time, but in the past it’s something i have always hung on to. Really hope you find the right words, thinking of you all.

    Andrea x

    p.s Sam is a real pro on RNY’s now, i think a budding surgeon in the making lol.

    #38184
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Phoenix,

    Its a natural process for our kids to worry, as young as they are they do remember.
    Hospitals are for poorley people, the old and frail…..

    Just remind her she was (if she was) born in a hospital, new life comes from these places too.
    Its not all doom and gloom.
    People get repaired,patched up, fixed and cured….
    Its where we go when we need some medical attention, thats all…

    Your going to be with the most proffesional in their feild, the experts and surgery will reward you with a much healthier and hopefully longer future… Its something you need to do to enjoy life with her and your husband to the fullest…

    When you talk to her (and yes I think its important) dont do it all gloomy faced, but with some excitment in your voice, show her your not worried, show her that you want to have this operation. It will make her a lot more comfortable..
    As long as she knows their will be a little recovery where your healing she will be ok I’m sure….

    So she and Dad can make plans or lists for when you get home…. I expect at that age she loves making lists…..
    Set them some things to do….. it will make them part of it all……

    Approach it with a smile and I expect your worries will be over… I do hope so….

    She is going to be so proud….. showing you off…..

    With a smile hun, with a smile and calm reassuring words.

    Buzz xx

    #38190
    fifimid
    Member

    Hi Phoenix, i did not tell my 8yr old daughter, she thinks i went to a spa for 3days. If you do want to say that you are going into hospital, keep it simple. E.G your tummy is sore and the doctor needs to looks at your tummy by doing a procedure, you do not have to say operation. Explain your tummy will be sore for a short while. Ifshe is like my dauhter i sure she will love making a homemade card for you which your husband can do with her, so she relises she will see you and will enjoy giving to you the card, more glitter the better!
    Best of luck xx

    #38193
    Phoenix
    Member

    Thank you all so much! I have told her – didn’t mention the ‘O’ word but have told her that I will be having my tummy looked at and fixed so will be in for a couple of days so they can have a good look and take the acid out – she knows that I have been suffering!

    All in all it has been brilliant because she has accepted that and hasn’t shown any concerning signs of anxiety – she’s left that bit to me! 🙂

    You guys have been brilliant and really helped me with this one :grouphug:

    X

    #38185
    Anonymous
    Guest

    LOL Thank heavans for the little people….
    Tackle it in the right way and they are pretty understanding.
    Afterall Mum knows best…..up until they are teenagers lol

    Glad it went well, one thing less to worry about.

    Buzz xx

    #38188
    neenee
    Member

    I’m glad she accepted it and as Buzz said one less thing to worry about 🙂

    xx neenee xx

    #38194
    Phoenix
    Member

    Yep definitely one less thing…just need hubby to be more positive about it now! He’s being a real doom and gloom merchant at the moment – I know he’s scared but really!

    #38189
    neenee
    Member

    Snap mine too hes thinking the worst not sure if hes going to be the best person to take me to the hospital on op day but he wants to hes really worried but understand but still worried :frown:

    I’ve explain to him what he mite see when i’m out so its not to much of a shock :jaw: tubes and things !

    #38192
    Brains
    Member

    Please ressure hubby and everyone else. My surgeon offered to ring my nearest and dearest straight after operation and did, he also rang me daughter too (she is in her 20s not 8!!). I was so pleased as I do not know if I would have been the best person to ring – To make you laugh I tried to send a text later in day but eyesight with morphine was poor and no one could understand it!!!
    :grouphug:

    #38191
    Lorraine
    Member

    I daren’t say what I did while under the morphine! Needless to say next time I have an op I will make sure I don’t have my phone with me! My surgeon also rang my husband as soon as he had finished.

    #38195
    Erwine
    Member

    Hi Phoenix,
    If I were you I would share everything with her. Better to keep her in confidence and share everything with her.
    As you said she is Mummy’s Girl so she sure will miss you all these days. Wish you luck and keep updating us with your progress.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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