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Tagged: general chat
July 20, 2011 at 5:41 pm #30668Sally BaileyParticipant
Feeling the need to let off some steam? Whether it be complications with surgery or just a general rant about the daily mishaps of life, then have a good old vent in here :biggrin1:September 29, 2011 at 5:07 pm #43422NewLifeSoonTish31Member
Im just 2wks out from surgery.. I’m doing well but I’m so tired of this liquid dietSeptember 29, 2011 at 7:41 pm #43423luckyflowerMember
Sorry you feel tired of it when can you move on to semi foods are you trying to vary fluids? Not sure what i can do to help but here when you need supportSeptember 29, 2011 at 8:35 pm #43418
I sympathise, I was the same in fact I got so fed up with feeling nausous when I had the sloppy stuff that I went on to mash potatoes with some gravy, yoghurt etc, anything with a different texture, and went from there. Thankfully it worked for me but take care, go slowly and chew, chew and chew again, keep chewing until it’s mush then swallow, hang in there Tish it gets a whole lot better, I’m now 6 months post by pass and 6 stone lighter, still got a way to go but life is great again, we’re here for you so hang in there.
xxxxxOctober 2, 2011 at 10:57 am #43419IreneMember
I want to rant and rave about feeling rejected.
As most of you know my Dad died in June, since then things have been up and down, yes it is all emotions. But today was the final straw, i would have reached for the diet coke and crisps and chocolate, but decided to come on here and rant instead.
Lets start back in June… When organising my Dad’s funeral with my sisters I said that my kids wanted to have flowers saying PAPA (thats what they called him), well they decided only 1 lot of flowers on the coffin whilst I was out of the room talking with the minister (vicar). Okay not a big issue. The day we scattered his ashes we went to lunch well 1 sister sat opposite Mum and the other next to Mum when I went to sit on the other side of Mum the eldest said “Didn’t I think Mark (my eldest son) should sit there cos he loves his Gran!”. Well I got up and went to the end of the table, I was feeling sad anyway and that just finished me that day. I was crying and wailing. Anyway as it was in a Garden centre hubby and I went out for a walk round, I was just crying well my sister came out and said what’s wrong!!! I just said I want my Daddy back. Her response “Well you cant have him back” Yea I know she’s right, but I was really in a bad place. Anyways the next day we were going to my Uncles funeral and our daughter had asked if she could have my Dads flat cap, it held special memories for her Mum said yes then turned on Julie when she went to lift it. (Mum has Alzheimers’). So we mentioned it to my sisters and said that our kids would like something as a memento of Dad and obviously their kids may feel the same NO they said there is nothing their kids wanted, okay no probs, but ours would like something so when things are being cleared out let them have something. You would have thought I just grew horns they way they looked at me. Well 3 weeks later I was back up in Scotland looking after Mum so my eldest sister could go away for a break, so I was doing some of the clearing out and found my Dad’s army cap badge and my Grandson Jack had expressed and interest in having something particularly from the war so thought that most appropriate so mentioned to said sister her reply “I think it should be left in the house for now and not taken as it’s Mum’s property now” So it is sitting in the drawer and has not seen the light of day since I found it!!! I might add that whilst I was up looking after Mum my Mother-in-Law died, so again I was not feeling great.
Then we come to August. My Dad would have been 90 on the 20th August, so we decided that we would go up to Liverpool and have a family meal with our sons and Daughter. Then my sister said that she and Mum were coming down so we changed our plans and I said I would do dinner for everyone on the 20th. Great came the response. So had the meal organised and then on the Thursday 18th I mentioned that I was changing the desert so my sister then said “don’t think we will be able to eat dinner as we are going out to lunch with Joan(other sister) and her kids”. Bit my tongue. We werent even invited to join them for lunch. They came round for drinks in the evening, yes it was a good evening, but had been spoilt.
The last thing. I have just been up looking after Mum as Helen was away on a cruise. Whilst there I tried on my Mum’s mink coat which she got for her 21st birthday and yes it fitted me. I felt great, Mum said take it home with you, I said no I’d get it another time. Well today I spoke to Helen on the phone and mentioned this to her, she tells me that Katrina (our niece) is interested in having that so guess what I said nothing.
When Mum goes I will take nothing other than things we have bought for her. Then I don’t have to see my sisters again. That is how I feel. I am crying as I am typing this. I feel that me and mine mean nothing and are just there to be used when it suits.
Rant over. Just thought if I put it down here I won’t do anything silly.October 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm #43420sue wants 2 be thinParticipant
Oh Irene, i will be there to give you a big hug in the morning, i feel a little like you, always treated like the black sheep, see you tomorrow hun x x xOctober 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm #43410AnonymousGuest
Irene Sweetheart, thing is with this story as much as it makes you sad, anf feel being used, its your nature to please everyone and yourself last…. their is little you can do other than try not to take heart as painful as it might be.
Some of us are born to be the soft touch, to not be argumentative and to hold things together only to feel hurt, let down sad and frustrated…. its what we do…
I wouldnt change you one little bit, take some pride in what a marvelous person you are… ok shed a tear occasionally when needs be. You are so much better for not taking advantage, for biting your toungue when you know if you actually said what you thought it would spoil what little you have allready, this is because your strong, your made of better quality.. you are quality, I should know Im a quality conformance engineer….lol..
So…. move on, put the troubles behind you and try not to stew on them and let them eat you up, when the time comes you will get vengance and have the chance to say your piece…
Thinking of you and wanting you not to cry but make today the last day your stewing…. its really not productive, family will use us more than anyone and unless your prepired to change what makes you special, to actually say home home truths and upset them, then bide your time…. Their is nothing to gain right now only upset and as you have said its been a dreadful few months…
Distance yourself a little, get your self in a better place, its only natural to shut down turn off ( in this case familiy ) recharge your batteries and approach it another day when your in a better frame of mind…ok…
Makes sense 🙂
Chin Up You……. anyone of your friends will know your amazing……
Buzz xxOctober 3, 2011 at 10:19 am #43421ruby tuesdayMember
I am glad you felt able to put your post on here, as I know from personal experience, that things we need to say go round and round in our heads, sometimes for weeks, making us angrier, and when we finally try to say something, we are then struggling to keep calm. So, well done you, for using the rant thread!
Families are incredibly difficult to deal with, often there are just too many personalities contributing to what is meant to be a one to one conversation, and muddling the waters. You are suffering from a huge loss, and coping the best you can, and clearly very much thinking of other people and their needs too, despite how you are feeling, and have nothing to reproach yourself for, but if you need distance from your family for a while, then take that time, and come back to dealing with them later.
Yes it is easier to cut ourselves off, and ask for nothing, but it does mean we miss out on the love of our family, and the shared memories that only families can have, so in the long term, it is best to try to maintain good communication, for selfish reasons really, if we can.
I am sure your family all love you, and miss your Dad too, and we are here for you, so you are not alone. xxOctober 5, 2011 at 10:47 pm #43417
You have been through the wringer a bit haven’t you but it will get better in time. It’s not just your family, this is not unique, your not the only one who feels like this, my mum and dad invited my sister and brother in law, who were staying with me for a holiday while over from the states, out for a meal in a very posh restaurent, and didn’t even think of inviting me and my hubby, we just heard all about it second hand then, the following christmas I got a bag of padded clothes hangers !!!! I have a brother I don’t speak to cos he takes advantage of mum and dad, and they let him, and a sister who thinks everthing she does is great and, being the second youngest of four it seems to be up to me to do the carer bit for the parents, and I resent the hell out of that assumption but, I’ll only ever have one set of parents so I bit my tongue and occasionally have a blow up and then get on with it, but since the WLS I am getting more assertive, but nicely and it’s helping, so my self esteems is increasing as the dress size decreases.
Your not alone Irene we’re here for you.
xxxOctober 6, 2011 at 9:26 am #43411
Families eh…..?October 10, 2011 at 9:42 pm #43416
Yeah, sometimes it’s good you can chose your friends, thank god for friends.July 5, 2012 at 9:12 am #43413
I took back yet another swimsuit to M&S yesterday. The assistant asked me why I was returning it so I replied that since I had lost a considerable amount of weight, my shape had changed and I was finding it difficult (understatement of the ruddy year!) to find one that fitted properly. She then asked me how much I had lost (some might think that rather forward) so I told her. ’15stone?? That’s amazing, how did you manage that?’ was the reply. So I told her. ‘Oh.’ was her response.
Do you get where this is heading? I had two choices. Politely retain my dignity and say nothing or defend myself and the surgery. I was in a bad mood so I chose neither. Instead I said ‘Maybe you should consider it?’, put my purse back in my bag and walked away leaving her no doubt offended. I was smiling.
Doodah xJuly 5, 2012 at 10:25 am #43427janie123Member
Well done. These people need educating, the surgery option is definitely not the easy answer.
Jamie xxJuly 5, 2012 at 10:25 am #43426janie123Member
Just ignore their ignorance. JanieJuly 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm #43412
Normally, when I have enough time, I will try to educate people but on this occasion I didn’t and to be honest, I lacked the inclination which is very rare for me!! You are right – ignore their ignorance….when it suits ME!
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