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- July 23, 2010 at 8:14 am #30272StreamlinerMember
Did you keep your weight loss surgery a “secret” or did you tell the world?
Weight loss surgery is such a personal thing, a major life changing challenge, we would be interested in hearing what you decided to do.
Did you feel you needed to have at least one person on board to share your worries, emotions, thoughts with?
Perhaps you thought you would gain support from that someone special, but it turned out they were negative & unsupportive? Or maybe you found support away from your usual network of friends or family.
Whatever you decided to do, it’s your own personal story/experience, but would be really interesting to hear all about it!July 23, 2010 at 8:43 am #37994PhoenixMember
Now this is a funny story!!!! 😀 I was never gonna have WLS because I just didn’t think it was for me! However a couple of years ago two very good friends of mine (who don’t know each other but they both know me!!) came to me within a few months of each other to say that they were considering bypass surgery. One decided to have her op in Belgium because she had done her research and that was the way she chose.
The other one, however, had not yet started her research but knew she had to have it done so I had known about Shaw’s work and recommended that she contact him – she did and now two years later she has a completely new body, new outlook and new job (more on that later) !!!
Now here I am at the same stage both my friends were at two years ago so I have both of them as my support as my Husband doesn’t really understand why I just can’t eat less and exercise more! Admittedly, I have told a few people that I would be having an operation on my hernia which will mean that I won’t be able to eat much afterwards but haven’t actually said that I’m having a gastric bypass!
Without my two friends and the forums I really don’t know what I would do because this pre-op journey is so up and down that some days I feel as if I’m going mad because one minute I’m all excited and looking at potential new outfits and the other i’m upset and angry at myself for not being able to do as my Husband suggests and eat less and exercise more and then I get all nervous and anxious about the actual op!!
So, publicly, thank you to my lovely friends for being there for me…July 23, 2010 at 8:50 am #37962AnonymousGuest
I shouted from the roof tops to anyone with ears…..
Sure some were not so suportive and suggested I dieted and excercised… some just did not understand why I would do something so dramatic and take such risks…..ask them now after seeing the results and I expect 99% of them are really happy for me…. and would eat their words…
I had nothing to be embarressed about as I had surgery for medical reasons. any weight loss for me was a bonus or the icing on the cake……
It was in a win win situation provided I got through surgery……
Here I am, in awe of what has happened, how good I feel…. I never realised just how run down I was, having surgery has given me my life back…only better…. more than I ever could have imagined….
I have no problem telling my story as most on here know… I am not embarressed for having to have surgery, not embarressed that I could not do it by diet alone.
An obese life is so much more than eating and excercise…. but only fatties who have walked in my shoes know that…
Never be embarressed…. never feel your a failure…. Be proud and do all you can to support the people travelling your path, its a way to give something back. Its so very rewarding…
I love my new life, I will be forever gatreful for this opotunity to live angain and not just exist.
Buzz x (Andy in Bognor)July 23, 2010 at 8:53 am #37995PhoenixMember
I love your energy Buzz and you are so right…I can’t wait to start feeling like that myself once I’ve had my op and am on the losing side who are really the winning side!! 🙂July 23, 2010 at 2:06 pm #37983
First time around with my band I told everyone. I had very mixed reactions, some very negative. When it all went a bit wrong, I got a lot of negative ‘i told you so’ type comments. So, this time around only family and a couple of friends know. I have been very vague about why I had surgery – someone suggested I say I had gallbladder surgery, but not quite sure I could explain that away with the weight loss!! So, just been quiet about it, but I am sure I will tell many more people when I am feeling better…
SJJuly 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm #37963AnonymousGuest
Thanks Phoenix, sure you will be feeling the way I do soon enough….. Its hard to believe what a difference it makes….. Trying to explain it is hard, its like nothing I ever imagined, I dont think I have ever felt this good in my entire life… and its easy doing it too….. just get over the first few months and everything falls into place…
SJ, me little twinkle, sorry to hear the band did not work, I hear that a lot… hopefully you will fiind the bypass a lot better, Im sure your get better results. And good on you for not giving up. Their are other options after the band, I personally think you have made a great choice by not burying your head in the sand.. your going to make a difference… your going to do well…… Im sure you will…… Dont be disapointed, just wait for the results.
Your going to be singing the same tune soon….
Have fun and stay lucky
Buzz xxxJuly 23, 2010 at 4:30 pm #37989PreciousMember
I admit I have kept my op quiet, as far as everyone knows I have had a Hiatus hernia op. The only people that know are 2 of my very best friends, my parents, my sister, my eldest daughter and of course my wonderful hubbie. Everyone has supported me every step of the way. My Mum was really worried and wanted me to have the band, but once I reassured her that if i needed it reversed that Shaw Somers assured me that he could do it, she was fine. Mum was also really worried when I was being sick for those couple of weeks and not keeping anything down, but now that I am feeling really well and the weights coming off she has at last relaxed!! (MUMS eh!!bless) I don’t plan on ever telling anyone, but who knows? I may feel different in the future, but at the moment I am happy not revealing my secret. I have been very lucky, I have had fantastic support all round, but I have to be honest, the reassurance has come from my new family members of this support group, without you all, I don’t think I would have gone through with it. I was very scared about the op, but now think, that was the easy part!!
My reasons for keeping quiet about my decision is because I was convinced that I would be one of the ones that this wouldn’t work for, and I was terrified of people looking at me after spending £12,000 and think another failed weight loss attempt!. But, so far its going well and the weight is coming off and I am feeling great …… it all still seems very surreal!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT …. LOVE YOU ALL XXXXXXX :grouphug:July 23, 2010 at 5:12 pm #37981AndyMember
I told everyone, and still do. Really proud of all i’ve achieved, but also make it really clear to people who ask that it is not an easy option. I have also been really lucky as everyone really supportive ( to my face anyway). Only problem is now that when i see large person i want to run up and say go on have wls its fantastic, i suppose because i had suffered for so long, but i won’t though becasuse thats just wrong.July 23, 2010 at 6:12 pm #37975carolthecookMember
Oh dear..where do I begin… I only told my husband and daughter. For a couple of reasons 1) I didn’t want anyone to try and change my decision and give me any negative feedback 2) worried, as I work in the food world I wouldn’t get any work again. Now I am at a crossroads and the timing of this forum thread couldn’t be more topical for me. I am about to launch my new bariatric cooking website next week and publish my book in August…..which means I have to have THE BIG REVEAL!!!!!
I am breaking out into a sweat at the thought…I need to warn friends and family ahead of both events because I am hoping (fingers crossed) for some publicity. It would be awful if they found out about my surgery through some press story. Have been planning to send out a general email to all of them and wait for their response. I have been worried what this might be….I’ve had such good positive comments about my weight loss but they think I did it through ‘normal’ dieting – not that I have ever said this, but by omission maybe they will think I have misled them. I am expecting a bit of a rocky road over the next few weeks (forum members I hope will help me through this). I may lose friends (and being realistic I think I will lose one or two). However, would I change my decision? Not in a heartbeat….thankyou Shaw Somers….in my house and world you are a LEGEND! carol xJuly 23, 2010 at 6:30 pm #37976carolthecookMember
Hi streamliner, in my haste and excitement that Buzz is back I forgot to mention that yes I did have a buddy to help with all my questions and to hold my hand before surgery (and after too). She had surgery last year at St Richard’s and gave me as much time and information as I needed to ask anything and everything – and boy I did! She probably made all the difference between make a well-informed decision and a hasty one. We talked about food, relationships, emotions, health, the surgery itself etc etc. No stone was left unturned and now we meet for a bit of an update but also to talk about things that are not WLS related – who wants to become a WLS bore? Elaine (you know who you are…) I am so, so grateful…we now both have a life we never thought we ever would have. Love Carol xJuly 23, 2010 at 8:14 pm #37964AnonymousGuest
Aha a proper subject for us to get our teeth into, but remember chew chew chew….
Carol, It will be a shame if some friends feel they have been mislead, whilst not telling a lie some might take it the wrong way, that you could not confide in them.
You decided not to tell for your own reasons, its a very personal thing and none of us on here would be in anyway judgemental….. People have secret surgery for all sorts of reasons and your nearest and dearest will understand why you did not want this to be common knowledge, you have a way with words, your a very intelligent women, just be honest and truthful… hopefully your fears will be unfound and everyone supports you.
Cant wait to see the site and will be very proud to say I know CAROLTHECOOK and she is AMAZING, giving what you do to everyone is remarkable, your an insperation and should be very proud of yourself.
Your an achiever, surround yourself with supporters and let the ones who want to drag you down fade away into history… with the weight you have lost, be comfortable with letting them go…..
You have not been dishonest, you have nothing to be ashamed off.
Were proud of you….
Were inspired by you…
We are here for you…
Good luck and be lucky.
And can I have a signed copy please…..lol… I do need some ideas…. Curries and chillies makes my bottom burp too much even the dogs are going off me now….
Buzz xxxJuly 23, 2010 at 8:24 pm #37992BrainsMember
Carol I totally understand where you are coming from. Only my two daughters, husband and a close friend knew. It is now one month after and they are still the only ones as I know I would get some much negative feedback. Everone thinks I went away for two days holiday. Even though I work in health I took holiday from work so employers do not know.
Sometime in the future I probably will tell people and my sisters but I dred it as I know what reaction I will get!!!! It will be “You did what” “Surely you could have dieted and exercised”!!!
Carol also look forward to your website and cookery book.
Thanks everyone xx :kiss:July 23, 2010 at 8:28 pm #37984
Carol, good luck with your ‘Big Reveal’! Not easy to handle, but if you do ‘lose any friends’ by telling them about your surgery, then I doubt they could be great friends in the first place. People don’t always like to be kept in the dark, but real friends and family will understand your reasons.
Whilst at the moment I have no need to ‘reveal’ my surgery (but that time will come), I am being pressured to put some pictures of myself on my websites and for a magazine a write for – eeek! Always hidden away before, so I appreciate your worries – good luck, sure you will be fine.
Good luck with the website and your book!
SJJuly 23, 2010 at 8:32 pm #37985
I had a wls ‘buddy’ for my band – nightmare really as she had lost 13 stone (amazing) but her diet scared me – for example, she ate macadamia nut ice cream for breakfast each day (her justification? well, the dairy and nuts are good sources of protein!!). I didn’t seek out a wls buddy for my bypass, but had a great deal of support in other ways…July 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm #37986
@Brains 6208 wrote:
“You did what” “Surely you could have dieted and exercised”!!!
The one that always gets to me is that ‘wls is cheating!’ – cheating what or whom I have no idea – maybe there is some unwritten rule book about life that I have had the misfortune of never seeing that says dieting and improved health can only be ‘fairly’ achieved through endless yo-yo dieting?
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