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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #31718
    Vickster
    Member

    I typed a long post earlier, but it seems to have disappeared, so apologies if this shows up somewhere else…having a bit of a moment…
    I am really struggling at the moment, my depression has hit like a train over the last couple of days. I am still being told that I wont get a date until at least the end of August, and I am really finding it very hard to cope. I am 35 (still, just!) weigh around 30 stone, and am in agony. I know that it is my fault that I am this way, but I am finding everything so very difficult. I have not been able to sleep in my bed since Christmas, partly because I am too heavy for it, partly because it is so painful to lie down. I have arthritis in my hips and my knees, and I am out of breath just standing up, walking into another room, or shampooing my hair.
    I am sorry that this is so self pitying, I just want to know when my date is, I just need a break from this…

    #53977
    Lelly
    Member

    Oh my lovely, how I feel for you pet, I so wished that we would be having our ops together and I am so sorry that I got my date first, I really thought that as we had our MDT’s together then our dates would be, if not the same, close.
    Don’t be depressed, your day will come Sis and don’t bottle things up, text, email or phone me and cry, moan or scream but get it out, I am here for you and always will be
    Lelly xxx

    #53975
    treeza
    Member

    Aww Sweetie try keep your chin up. The waiting is so hard especially when you’re so close. I know gust seems a life time away but it really isn’t. Time goes so quickly. I really feel for you. We are all here for you Hun so any time you need to let it all out please do x sending a great big virtual hug x

    #53976
    bikerchris
    Participant

    My dear Vickster, I so wish I could give you a big hug right now.

    All I can say is that this is the place to come with the feelings you have, so many people on this forum have been just where you are. The fact is that you can, you will and you must carry on, you will get through to a better time. And boy, will you have earned those better times when they come.

    I know you say depression has hit you”like a train”. Obviously I don’t know your history but do you need medication? Or if you’re already on meds, does your dosage need a review. A chat with your GP would probably be useful.

    Chris xx

    #53969
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    I completely agree with Chris.

    You should tell your GP how utterly miserable you are feeling. Many, many of us have been exactly where you are now and it is horrid, absolutely awful. We can all tell you it will soon come around but when you are exhausted just getting out of bed, it can be almost impossible to believe.

    Depression robs us of hope – that’s why it should be taken very, very seriously. Please try to see your GP. I too wish I could give you a great big hug. Just know this – you will never be seen as self pitying here. EVER. Nor will you see judgement. We are here to support and care about you as we have all been exactly where you are now and understand everything you are saying.

    The final few months before surgery are so much like purgatory: a place between heaven and hell. A hair’s breadth separates them. I wish I could it make it easier for you, I really do. I like to think that this period of time is a necessary evil because, when you finally get your date, you will feel like you have won the life lottery. gentle hugs flying your way from the South Coast here ๐Ÿ™‚

    Doodah x

    #53979
    Vickster
    Member

    Hi guys, I am so touched by your amazing messages. I do tend to bottle it up a bit when I am like this, and go very insular. I am under the care of a psychiatrist and have an appointment next month, so hopefully that will help. I spoke to my doctor after my post, and he is loathe to change anything in terms of anti depressants, and pain medication, because of the interaction they may have. I have been off work for a couple of days now, just to give myself a bit of time and space. Hopefully all will be sorted soon. I just want a date, even if it is three months away, I am a bit of a control freak and I just like to know what is going on lol I guess this is the ultimate test in that!

    #53980
    Vickster
    Member

    @Lelly 33784 wrote:

    Oh my lovely, how I feel for you pet, I so wished that we would be having our ops together and I am so sorry that I got my date first, I really thought that as we had our MDT’s together then our dates would be, if not the same, close.
    Don’t be depressed, your day will come Sis and don’t bottle things up, text, email or phone me and cry, moan or scream but get it out, I am here for you and always will be
    Lelly xxx

    love you sis x x :hug:

    #53970
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Vickster 33797 wrote:

    Hi guys, I am so touched by your amazing messages. I do tend to bottle it up a bit when I am like this, and go very insular. I am under the care of a psychiatrist and have an appointment next month, so hopefully that will help. I spoke to my doctor after my post, and he is loathe to change anything in terms of anti depressants, and pain medication, because of the interaction they may have. I have been off work for a couple of days now, just to give myself a bit of time and space. Hopefully all will be sorted soon. I just want a date, even if it is three months away, I am a bit of a control freak and I just like to know what is going on lol I guess this is the ultimate test in that!

    I used to be a control freak and have OCD.

    My need for control dissipated when I had HG (like the Duchess of Cambridge) in both my pregnancies. I spent 5 months in hospital with my first child and seven with my second. That made me learn patience and that all things happen for a reason. My body was not my own and I had to learn that nature has a way of making us have things when we need them – not when we want them.

    It was one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned – if not THE most. Everything plays out in the order in which it is meant to be. It’s SO HARD to accept. Please remember, we are all here for you and wishing nothing but the best for you. Try to stay strong and whilst you are waiting, try to get as healthy and mobile as you possibly can – even if that is just lifting cans of beans over your head or walking up and down on the spot. But above all else – BE KIND TO YOURSELF. It’s the second best lesson to learn ๐Ÿ™‚

    Doodah x

    #53978
    Lelly
    Member

    @Vickster 33798 wrote:

    love you sis x x :hug:

    Love you too pet xxx

    #53971
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    Aw, that is so sweet x

    #53974
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Oh I do hope your feeling a bit better . Pain is horrible I’m glad you told us about how upset you are . Let think about what you could do in these next few months .. Are you creative ( I’m not ) can you paint or knit or crochet sew . What do you like to do . Can you get out or have people visit you . Before I had surgery I was house bound it was rough time dark days . Loverly people on Here kept me going .i thought I would die my family thought that also . And planned how they would care for me . So don’t give up on your self you will get your surgery sometime soon before winter comes. So at Christmas your be buying new see clothes x. This horrible moment will pass I promise you and life will change . So do t let depression rob you of you hope for a brighter future . We all need hope dreams . I still say dream about winning the lottery and sometimes don’t check my ticket so I don’t lose the dream lol .

    #53972
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 33812 wrote:

    Oh I do hope your feeling a bit better . Pain is horrible I’m glad you told us about how upset you are . Let think about what you could do in these next few months .. Are you creative ( I’m not ) can you paint or knit or crochet sew . What do you like to do . Can you get out or have people visit you . Before I had surgery I was house bound it was rough time dark days . Loverly people on Here kept me going .i thought I would die my family thought that also . And planned how they would care for me . So don’t give up on your self you will get your surgery sometime soon before winter comes. So at Christmas your be buying new see clothes x. This horrible moment will pass I promise you and life will change . So do t let depression rob you of you hope for a brighter future . We all need hope dreams . I still say dream about winning the lottery and sometimes don’t check my ticket so I don’t lose the dream lol .

    Haha! You are so funny Kim – I always want to win the lotto but hardly ever BUY a ticket!

    The months/days before surgery are unbelievably stressful. For me, the stress stopped the minute I started the pre op diet. That – to me – was the beginning of my weight loss journey. The switch in my brain flicked and I was off.

    I hope you all feel you can come on here and offload. It really is true that a problem shared is a problem halved.

    Doodah x

    #53981
    Vickster
    Member

    This forum is such a llifeline. Just having a date has helped lift my depression, and I can’t wait until I start the milk diet because I know I will be properly on my way then.
    And I know what you mean about lottery, on the rare occasion that we do the lottery, my hubster waits until Sunday night to check it, just in case…

    Lots of love to you all x x x x x x:love:

    #53973
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    That’s how I felt about the pre op diet – it really does start there. Kim has just posted some great ideas for summer pre op dieters. I’m going to try them.

    I’m truly so happy for you ๐Ÿ˜€

    Doodah x

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