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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • #31699
    Lelly
    Member

    I am sad today, my MDT was on 16th January and I was given an estimate of 3 – 6 months till surgery. I understand that this is exactly that, an estimate but my hip gets so painful at the end of the day that I could cry, I also have gallstones and kidney stones. It would be so nice to have an idea of when the op might be, although I was recently told not before July. I have been following posts on a facebook page and people are reporting having their surgery 4 – 5 months after MDT and others 7 – 9 months, I just feel really down and want this surgery so much now, I understand that no-one has a crystal ball but OMG I just want a date to work to…..

    #53743
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Oh lovey, sorry to hear you’re sad and having a hard time.

    It is difficult I know but can you find a way to accentuate the positive. You have this time to prepare yourself for the op and get as fit as possible for the surgery. I know how much of a struggle it can be to move around, but can you get out and enjoy this lovely spring weather? Even if only your own garden or your local park, the sunshine never fails to lift my mood. Taking on a little stroll or chair based exercises will release endorphins.

    My other”never fail” way of lifting myself up is getting my hair or nails done. Or buying a magazine. Or meeting a friend for a coffee and a chat.

    All will be well Lelly. And aren’t we lucky to have this forum to discuss the good and the bad.

    Chris x

    #53746
    Lelly
    Member

    @bikerchris 33410 wrote:

    Oh lovey, sorry to hear you’re sad and having a hard time.

    It is difficult I know but can you find a way to accentuate the positive. You have this time to prepare yourself for the op and get as fit as possible for the surgery. I know how much of a struggle it can be to move around, but can you get out and enjoy this lovely spring weather? Even if only your own garden or your local park, the sunshine never fails to lift my mood. Taking on a little stroll or chair based exercises will release endorphins.

    My other”never fail” way of lifting myself up is getting my hair or nails done. Or buying a magazine. Or meeting a friend for a coffee and a chat.

    All will be well Lelly. And aren’t we lucky to have this forum to discuss the good and the bad.

    Chris x

    Thanks Chris, better today but hip is just getting so painful, I was really feeling sorry for myself. I have had my hair done and regularly talk to friends at work or home but just get so down about the date and get quite blinkered. I always had it in my mind that my surgery would be May, don’t know why but then I was told not before July. I rang St Richards last week to ask a question and thought I would also ask about when my op might be but was told “don’t know”. It is just like having a big bar of chocolate on the shelf, you can see it, smell it but just can’t reach it…….xxx

    #53730
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Lelly 33409 wrote:

    I am sad today, my MDT was on 16th January and I was given an estimate of 3 – 6 months till surgery. I understand that this is exactly that, an estimate but my hip gets so painful at the end of the day that I could cry, I also have gallstones and kidney stones. It would be so nice to have an idea of when the op might be, although I was recently told not before July. I have been following posts on a facebook page and people are reporting having their surgery 4 – 5 months after MDT and others 7 – 9 months, I just feel really down and want this surgery so much now, I understand that no-one has a crystal ball but OMG I just want a date to work to…..

    I completely understand how you are feeling.

    I have had tooth/jaw pain for over 18 months and haven’t even seen a consultant yet. I’ve lost 4 teeth, had two root canals done, been on 11 courses of antibiotics and take morphine for the pain. By the time I see someone at the hospital, it will be almost 2 years. It DRAGS you down. It really does.

    However, I think the trick is to only let it get to you every so often. I had a day of feeling utterly miserable yesterday. But this morning I have decided to tell it to bog off and leave me alone as I have so much else to do – moving house again in two weeks for one! I have no idea how I am going to manage it as my asthma is terrible at the moment, so I can only give it my best shot.

    I truly believe that a positive attitude brings about positive things. Use this time to get as fit as you possibly can for surgery. It makes such a difference. What about going swimming? It will ease your joints and give you a thorough workout to boot. I only learned to swim a few years ago and I love it now (still wont go in the deep end though haha) my joints are relieved, it’s good for asthma and it calms the nerves.

    Anyway Lelly, even though it is really difficult, try to remember that things always happen for a reason. Your surgery will happen at the RIGHT time for you. Keep your chin up chicken.

    Doodah x

    #53747
    Lelly
    Member

    @Doodah 33412 wrote:

    I completely understand how you are feeling.

    I have had tooth/jaw pain for over 18 months and haven’t even seen a consultant yet. I’ve lost 4 teeth, had two root canals done, been on 11 courses of antibiotics and take morphine for the pain. By the time I see someone at the hospital, it will be almost 2 years. It DRAGS you down. It really does.

    However, I think the trick is to only let it get to you every so often. I had a day of feeling utterly miserable yesterday. But this morning I have decided to tell it to bog off and leave me alone as I have so much else to do – moving house again in two weeks for one! I have no idea how I am going to manage it as my asthma is terrible at the moment, so I can only give it my best shot.

    I truly believe that a positive attitude brings about positive things. Use this time to get as fit as you possibly can for surgery. It makes such a difference. What about going swimming? It will ease your joints and give you a thorough workout to boot. I only learned to swim a few years ago and I love it now (still wont go in the deep end though haha) my joints are relieved, it’s good for asthma and it calms the nerves.

    Anyway Lelly, even though it is really difficult, try to remember that things always happen for a reason. Your surgery will happen at the RIGHT time for you. Keep your chin up chicken.

    Doodah x

    Thanks pet I am better, it is not everyday that I get down but when I do I feel very sorry for myself. I am far to fat to go swimming, I really could not show myself like that as my body is disgusting. I will do however when I have lost my weight and skin but till then I shall just try and wait patiently. I have now got a stinking cold……bloody hell it never rains but it pours does it.
    Poor you, why on earth have you had to wait so long, that is terrible. I hope your move goes well and don’t overdo it, ask friends to help. Thank you again for caring x

    #53731
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Lelly 33414 wrote:

    Thanks pet I am better, it is not everyday that I get down but when I do I feel very sorry for myself. I am far to fat to go swimming, I really could not show myself like that as my body is disgusting. I will do however when I have lost my weight and skin but till then I shall just try and wait patiently. I have now got a stinking cold……bloody hell it never rains but it pours does it.
    Poor you, why on earth have you had to wait so long, that is terrible. I hope your move goes well and don’t overdo it, ask friends to help. Thank you again for caring x

    I wish you didn’t feel so bad about your body. I used to go swimming when I was a size 34 and thought ‘If they don’t like what they see, then stop bloomin looking!’ I can guarantee every other person in the pool is worried more about what THEY look like than you.

    A bad cold always gets you down in itself – one of the most horrible things known to humankind! I’m so lucky as I rarely get them. Be kind to yourself as kind as you would be to anyone else 😉

    Doodah x

    #53744
    bikerchris
    Participant

    The body thing is a tough cookie, I agree that everyone is obsessed with how they look and their perceived defects, even slim folks.

    In some ways, I feel parts of me are worse now than when I was fat. The skin on my belly, thighs and upper arms actually hangs off me and as for my boobs, very grim. However I’d rather be healthy with loose skin than obese like I was. There is no chance of me getting surgery for it as I spent all my savings on wls. So I see these issues as battle scars. I don’t like it but I have to put up with it.

    Chris x

    #53732
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @bikerchris 33422 wrote:

    The body thing is a tough cookie, I agree that everyone is obsessed with how they look and their perceived defects, even slim folks.

    In some ways, I feel parts of me are worse now than when I was fat. The skin on my belly, thighs and upper arms actually hangs off me and as for my boobs, very grim. However I’d rather be healthy with loose skin than obese like I was. There is no chance of me getting surgery for it as I spent all my savings on wls. So I see these issues as battle scars. I don’t like it but I have to put up with it.

    Chris x

    That is such an important point, Chris. Better to be healthy and have loose skin. I paid for my own tummy tuck as the apron kept getting infected. It was the best money I have ever spent. I am very. very self-conscious about my bingo wings. the loose skin is twice the size of my actual arm! But the rest of my sagging body doesn’t bother me a bit. I pushed my body to breaking point so it is to be expected really.

    Good control underwear works very well. If I didn’t wear spanx, some days my arse would drag along the carpet! But how often do we go about stark naked (unless I’m missing something here!!?) I am so grateful to have been given the chance of a longer life that sagging skin doesn’t register anymore.

    Don’t forget that almost every image we see (of the beautiful people we are supposed to aspire to look like) is photoshopped to within an inch of it’s life. Even we mere mortals can now photoshop our snapshots with an app!

    Be proud of your body – it didn’t let you down.

    Doodah x

    #53748
    Lelly
    Member

    @Doodah 33425 wrote:

    That is such an important point, Chris. Better to be healthy and have loose skin. I paid for my own tummy tuck as the apron kept getting infected. It was the best money I have ever spent. I am very. very self-conscious about my bingo wings. the loose skin is twice the size of my actual arm! But the rest of my sagging body doesn’t bother me a bit. I pushed my body to breaking point so it is to be expected really.

    Good control underwear works very well. If I didn’t wear spanx, some days my arse would drag along the carpet! But how often do we go about stark naked (unless I’m missing something here!!?) I am so grateful to have been given the chance of a longer life that sagging skin doesn’t register anymore.

    Don’t forget that almost every image we see (of the beautiful people we are supposed to aspire to look like) is photoshopped to within an inch of it’s life. Even we mere mortals can now photoshop our snapshots with an app!

    Be proud of your body – it didn’t let you down.

    Doodah x

    You have an amazing way with words my lovely!

    Lelly x

    #53749
    Lelly
    Member

    @bikerchris 33422 wrote:

    The body thing is a tough cookie, I agree that everyone is obsessed with how they look and their perceived defects, even slim folks.

    In some ways, I feel parts of me are worse now than when I was fat. The skin on my belly, thighs and upper arms actually hangs off me and as for my boobs, very grim. However I’d rather be healthy with loose skin than obese like I was. There is no chance of me getting surgery for it as I spent all my savings on wls. So I see these issues as battle scars. I don’t like it but I have to put up with it.

    Chris x

    I think that it is the looks and comments that stop me and many others go swimming or sometimes just going out as they can be so very hurtful and rude. I personally think that how a person behaves and how kind and caring they are, are far more important than looks but that comes from someone ugly. I read the comments you write along with Doodah and the rest and I believe you are all lovely battle scars or not

    Lelly x

    #53745
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Thank you my love. Despite what is underneath, I look GREAT with my clothes on. I’m 5 feet 9 and wear a size 12. I have good hair and nails and I’m in decent nick for mid 40’s. What’s not to like?

    X

    #53740
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Ahh I do feel for you and understand how sad you are and in pain which always makes every one sad. But do you want some ideas or to get the feelings off your chest . Coz some times I just want to moan and have some one listen and other times I want ideas .
    I see it was 5 days ago so hopefully your feeling a bit brighter . I do know disappointment of being so close to surgery then having the rug pulled away from you . I failed my anesthetics and had to wait a futher 6 months untill all medics involved were happy to progress . But I only found out after 5 months that the would operate . My advice would be get your self as fit as possible for surgery . I go to aqua areobic and can honestly say it full of people who are all shapes and sizes . I like it becauseonce in the water you can hide and no one see your body also the water cooling when you get hot and sweaty . Also you can work agas hard as you want . I got heart valve disease so at the moment I have to be a bit careful and stop if I’m getting any tightness in my chest . I also got my GP to do an exercise referral which was so helpful . Look on you tube may be their some exercise you can do in your home , arm chair . In the end it seems a long time but in reality it’s not , it’s really close by christmass you could have lost so much weight that people will not recognise you xx

    #53733
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Lelly 33427 wrote:

    You have an amazing way with words my lovely!

    Lelly x

    Thank you. I simply tell it like it is – which has often got me into hot water in the past lol!

    Doodah x

    #53734
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    It’s hard to imagine whilst you are waiting for surgery that within 6 months of having it, people won’t recognise you! It’s the weirdest feeling. Be prepared for people to treat you differently.

    I have to admit that, at times, I got quite angry with people who started to listen to what I said more, or were nicer to me JUST because I was beginning to meet THEIR idea of what ‘normal’ looks like. The one time I got really angry and had to say something was when a total stranger pointed out a large woman to me and said ‘Hope I don’t get sat next to that’ in a nudge nudge wink wink way.

    Firstly, I was angry because she assumed I would be amused by her remark and secondly, that she could be so vile to another human being. I calmly reminded her that the other woman had paid for her seat and could sit wherever the hell she wanted, then pointed out that a year before, I had been twice the size of the woman she was being so cruel about.

    What summed up her lack of integrity was the fact that she didn’t apologise to either me or the other woman but asked ‘Ooh, how did you do it’? Unbelievable! As if I was going to have a conversation with her about my weight!!

    Anyway, I digress (again!!) be prepared for the fact that even though you are exactly the same person inside, others will start to see you differently. YOU won’t change – your body will. But it will free you to do all the things you thought you could only ever imagine. It is brilliant and it’s all there waiting for you. Change doesn’t happen overnight so be patient and prepared – but not in a scout way: collecting firewood and putting up a tent haha!

    Doodah x

    #53741
    Kimberly
    Participant

    I know what you mean doodah , it’s annoying that people now talk to me listen to me , What I not changed inside how shallow people are !!!!

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