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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
  • Author
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  • #30722
    Helen
    Member

    just wandering what people’s families and friends have thought about us having the op. All my friends and family have been good etc. But it is a case of ‘well, i’ve had it done so tough’. As my family have never been close-close. Even though we all get on etc.

    All my friends have been good. As i have known some of them for (upto) 30years. We’ve had adult conversation about it. But now they dont mention it. They treat me the same as they did before. They said before i had the op things like “why have you decided to get it done now?” etc. But they knew i had read and talk to people who have had the op before i made he decision.

    Apart from one friend of mine, who is driving me round the bend and
    utterly MAD!!! As it is all this ‘there-there-there’ or ‘are you eating enough’ or ‘i’m pleased you could have a bit of chocolate’. It is fuss fuss fuss and more bl**dy FUSS!!!! I cannot bare fuss. As i’ve alway been very independent (perhaps too independent) etc. I’ve said to her that i am eating the same foods as you are but much smaller. It is like if we meet up 2pm, she will have something to eat before we meet up cos she doesnt want to at infront of me. Or if shes hungary and her stomach is rumbling. She wont have anything to eat because she doesnt want to have chocolate/a meal etc in front of me. I just turn round and say to her “if you want to eat something go ahead i won’t be offended” or i will say “well, if i wanted something to eat i would eat and i wouldnt care if you were hungry or not. I would just have something to eat!!” it is if she think i will be upset or jealous that she is eating pasta or bread rolls etc. Which i wont be.

    As all my other friends, will carry on as per normal…….

    #44131
    miss missy
    Member

    hi.the only people that no ive had my op is 1 of my sisters my best friend and my kids so luckily dont have that problem.have told everybody else a teeny weeny lie and that was that i went to my drs and he told me my colestrol was sky high(it mite not even be a lie cos have never had it tested)so have got to lose weight.my daughter thinks im stupid to lie as i will get found out but everybody has just accepted wot ive told them.i know i would have had exactly the same as you otherwise and it would have driven me mental too.hope people will accept it soon and make your life easier much love.xxxxx

    #44126

    I have not told 1 single person(except my hubby)
    And I am so glad I didnt as
    my band failed and then I had a bypass yet I have stopped losing weight inspite of strict dieting and exersizing and am still 18 stones
    CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE what people would say???
    oh dear, you had that gastric bypass and your still fat???
    I didnt know that could happpen
    I would be mortified and it would only reinforce my
    sense of failure x

    #44132
    miss missy
    Member

    oh my god.cant beleive you think that.dont ever think your a failure.ive been reading your posts since i joined this forum before i had my op and you always give amazing advice and you never sugar coat it.im so sorry you seem to have reached a plateu cos you seem so dedicated to your diet and exercise.i for one think your truly amazing.much much love.xxxx

    #44127

    bless your heart
    you are so kind
    all the very best to you in your weight loss journey
    it surely is a rollercoaster ride
    but ALWAYS worth it xxxx

    #44129
    Helen
    Member

    With me, only one friend (like I said before) is being patronising and all this there-there-there business. I cannot bear sympathy and being patronised. So I wish I had NOT told her. Or if I had told her, I would have weighed six months post op or never told her.

    #44128
    Deifersmum
    Participant

    Hi Helen

    I sympathise with you, having not told anyone except hubby, children and one sister I was ‘encouraged’ to tell the team at work and I truly wish I hadn’t. The questions have been horrendouse especially when your trying to keep it quiet and they keep asking questions at the most inopportune time, like in front of other people. Sometimes I could scream. If it hadn’t been that I needed time off and had to tell my line managers I wouldn’t have bothered at all.

    Hang in there Helen, it will get better, they can only get fed up with asking, keep your chin up.

    Love
    Lesley
    xxx

    #44130
    Helen
    Member

    All my other friends have been perfectly okay with it. Same with my family. As they knew I have not rushed into the decison of having done (20th December). They knew I would have thought long and hard about it etc.

    Work wise, my line manager has been very supportive. As she has been saying to me for a good few years before having it done, about have it done. I just stuck my heals in and said to my manager “The more you go on, the less likely I will do anything about it!!!” She let it go then. Well, as I work at St Richards, they hav e to be careful and to be ‘seen’ to be supportative etc.

    #44124
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Still sweetheart, How did I miss this post????
    Must have been when i was painting like a lunatic. I’m sorry.

    You my little dumpling have had it harder than most and I realise for most of us that this still becommes a very long journey which in turn can be a little disapointing when people dont know or understand.
    You are one of my favorites on here, ever still the ray of sunshine as you battle on…. You are truley one special individual that can help us see reason, help us understand that achieving what you think is perfection takes hard work and determination….

    Too me Still, you are perfect….

    I love you input, I love your determination and just wish I could help more to get you to your final goal…… so thinking caps on… i’m going to wreck my little man brain and come up with a superhero conclusion…. or two…

    Please hun, dont ever be disapointed, treat content with what it deserves….. Your by far a failure in our eyes…..

    I for one love you just the way you are……

    Wipe your tears, put that smile back on your face and know we love you

    Buzz xx ( an admirer )

    #44125
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I told the world….
    Had the naysayers at work, worries from family and friends ( especially just after the op all trussed up and monitored like a lunatic ) but hey…… the naysayers have eaten their words, Familiy are proud of what I have achieved if not a little confused that I did not loose some of my sense of humour… ( probabaly got worse in fact ) i am pretty calm o on here, ha ha ah…..

    Knowledge is all powerful, a little determination to succeed and a good support group is all you need….. oh and the occasional nibble….

    I am so proud of doing this, I stick around to try to promote this surgery. knowing it has improved my life as it will numerous others. its all i can do for being given the chance to have a life and not just exist…..

    Great post

    Buzz x

    #44133
    Sally Bailey
    Participant

    I’m the same as you Buzz. I told everyone – still do!
    I think it’s the thing I’m most grateful for in my life so that is why I want to share with everyone. I would say to anyone considering it ‘GO FOR IT’ and never feel that you have cheated yourself slim. We all know it’s bloody hard work!

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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