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My Journey so far….(Ms Ellie)

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  • #29727
    Ms Ellie

    My obesity has been with me for a very long time, in fact if im honest its been with me all my life, I was a big 10lb….eerrrr when I was born!

    Im not going to bore you with all the names that ive been called but just to mention some “Honey monster” “ten tonne tessie” “Big mama” and so on………its awful when innocent children say things, and if im honest for that split second I hate that child with a passion (embarrasing or what????) Mummy… look at that big fat belly Argggggg….

    Growing up in an Italian family its all about food, food and guess what??? more food! Pasta, Pizza bread, salami, home made sausages, cheesees oh the list is endless…not to mention the “dolce” desserts, ice creams, wines and liquers, why cant we learn to say NOOOO thats enough??

    My family on both my side and hubbies ooooze.. love and affection everything appears to be dealt with around the table, food is such a big deal, I think this is a southern Italian thing, I, my sister, my daughter and nieces and one nephew are ultimately paying the price for our disastrous food choices.

    Growing up outside of family life was no walk in the park, I survived but many atime I wished that I was just “normal” like all the girls my age wearing all those pretty clothes instead me I had to have them made, I remember this “fooking” so called dressmaker making me some right tent dresses….what a nightmare!!!!!! Oh how I wished I had some dungarees, some jeans NOT a flaming chance!!!

    Im gonna start that diet Monday………..what Monday? and in what year???? it has never happened and unless I get this help now it never will. How many times have I said that??? who knows???

    The best thing about school for me, was when I was able to leave at 16, I didnt want to study because I was so sick and tired of being bullied, being poked in the back by the kids sat behind me poking, what I call (airbags) no……. way…….. jose’ I got to leave, and im leaving now!

    What im trying to say here is that pretty much life outside my family was not nice at all!

    Im a secret eater, I must be, I think I always have been, I can be preparing dinner and I will make a sandwich and stuff it whilst no one is around, I can pretend to be buying something for someone else sweets,pastries cakes but it really really is for me why?? why?? why do I do this??

    FWD FWD cause its not all doom and gloom…

    I had a good network of friends in fact a bloody good network of friends who taught me how to parrrrrrrrrrttttttttyyyyyyyy!!!! Never been one for too much drink yessss….. ok I have been worse for wear a few times but I have never been a pisshead and never will be I have never needed drink or drugs to be happy.

    I met my hubby and life was grand, I was in love so I ate… you do, with me I eat when I am sad and eat when im happy! we got married and to my surprise as big as I was I fell pregnant OMG, im going to be a mummy, I am so happy and guess what?? im eating for 2, thats allright im prengnant, wrongggggggggggg again, allthough I sailed through my pregnancy my delivery experience was awful, the consultant I had was sooooo anti fat mums to be, boy oh boy did he give me a hard time I have never ever met a doctor like him NEVER….I had a caesarian and developed a clot, how scary was that??? I was so scared that I really didnt think I would ever get home with my “Princess” I did and I thank god, but if I wasent so big this may never would have happened (blod clot) Luckily for me, I was only on medication for 3 months and have been free from clots.

    Moving on……

    Throughout all this ive joined WW, Slimming World on and off for over 20 years, Yayyyy…… slimmer of the week clap, clap, slimmer of the month Zipdeeee doooo dahhhhh binge night on Monday nights eat as much as you like most slimmers call it (treat night) as Catherine tate would say……. “Wataaaa loadaaaa of Sh*&”t”.

    For me and I am only talking about me, the moment I stopped attending the clubs the weight id lost and more went straight back on. (A total waste of time and money for me) I am not in any way shape or form saying these clubs dont work, they didnt work for me but many many people have been very successful!

    My Princess started nursery, how the hell am I gonna squeeze my buttt occkks on them little chairs??? Can I really go and sit on those little seats and watch my lil one in her school play??? what an awful experience that has always been for me, my excuse then and still is now where ever I go, I must sit at the back, near the door just in case I have to legg it!!! Oh the joys of being Super morbidly obese!!!! Now dont start me on sports day there is no feckin way am I ever gonna attempt to do the egg and spoon race or the parents race or anything for that matter!

    Right……im so sorry if ive bored the socks off you all, but if im brutally honest doing this (I will explain later) is helping me and if I help just one person out there thats good enuff for me!

    Dont want to ramble on here but I do what most obese/morbidly obese/over weight people do im no different im sure, ive read many posts spoken to many people in the past few months and I hear and see me in many posts out there. I eat crap, I avoid certain situations, I go by car, I havent flown for a good 10 years or so on, I drive round and round until I find a space near the shops mainly my excuses to people are ive a bad back, a bad knee but the truth is im overweight and I want to deal with this NOW…please god give me the strength to carry on……and I promise to give back all the help and support I can to others just lke me.

    I will continue on the next post

    Thanks for reading (BTW im no Danielle steele) just in case you havent guesssed LOL

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