hi everyone
thought some of you might be interested in my journey.
in may 2008 after 15yrs and completely out of the blue my husband left. life was awful and after the shock a realised that some of my depression was due to my size.in the past id loved racing on my bike and even rode for a race horse trainer. so off the dr i went.the first time a yr before hed said no but amazingly this time he said yes i think youll fit the criteria. book a double app to see me in 2 weeks!. i went back and was measurement and weighed etc and off the form went. id been warned if i was lucky enough to get funding it was a long wait.
i actually forgot about it for a while and one day a letter arrived,saying i had funding to go see mr slater at st richards.i was thrilled. i saw him in may and got the go ahead for a bypass,off i went on a high. the next few weeks were interesting i went from cloud nine to terrified and back again ,read everything i could find on the net and even brought a book.
i plagued the postman for letters and went to my app as they arrived.
then in july i had the most awful pain id ever known off i went to out of hrs to be told what id tried to kid myself it wasnt gallstones!,scan confirmed i had them. i was terrified theyd stop op but actually in the end they prob did me a favour lol. i had a bit of a tough ride with them in and out of hospital. the worse being nearly getting both ops but in the end i went home to wait for the phone call with a date that all bypass patients wait for.
on the 22nd october i went in for op, i was last on the list and went down at 2.30. the anaesathist was lovely and asked what drink and music i wanted,not that i remember hearing anything lol. dont remember anything until early hrs of the next morning. unfortunetly it hurt alot. aparently there was a prob with my blood and my heart rate was going funny. mr slater came to see me and had a feel of wound oh and then took me dow from the ceiling.
the next day he came and said i was looking better and had had him very worried there!
i went home a week later. things didnt really go as planned and i struggled,one day leaving my flat i had pain like someone was tearing my insides apart,off to hospital i went. i unfortunetly had 4 visits to st richards,i think i probably used their budget for the year. i had endoscopy(not recommended) gastrograph and finally i went back to theatre and had scar tissue removed and a balloon dilation. i then spent a fortnight in hospital as i had scared myself and couldnt eat or drink. i had a lovely abcess too from the lap instruments and that made me feel poorly. i eventually went home on the 12th december.
spent a few days with my brother then had to face my flat alone. i had to do it but i really didnt want to be alone. it wasnt easy but im still here and its more like home now.
it was a real rollercoaster,i had researched and researched but never really gave a thought to the emotional side and how badly it can effect you. i have to live with some guilt i still have as i still find it hard thinking my problems were physchological. i have so many people who iam so grateful too. i was so well looked after and ill never forget them all. well thats it really probably useless but hey give you something to read lol.
love mandy xx
3 years, 6 months ago
