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Emotional Connection to Food

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 50 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #30785
    Janifred
    Member

    Hi everyone
    my journey, it would seem, is to take me to the ‘head stuff’ now and get help on how to deal with my emotional dependence on food especially after the Bypass. I really don’t want to transfer this onto something else, so I’m not sure, what is the alternative?
    I suppose the referral will be made on my behalf and I will know in due course. m m m m m m m mmmmmmm I am an old worrier. Can anyone out there offer some ideas on what to expect

    #44858
    betty boo
    Member

    Hi Janifred, i too have been thinking about the emotional dependence on food. I am having my bypass tomorrow in Harrow. I have been on the milk diet for two weeks, i have only just realized how bad my emotional dependence is, as you probably know you are not to eat food, however i had little control, when i was upset, stressed, worried i still ate. I cannot believe i have done this. I did not know how addicted i was. I know this doesnt answere your question but may help others understand that the emotional side of our addiction is so very important.

    Betty Boo xx

    #44828
    SJ
    Member

    I have had some help with the head stuff, would love more, but that is another story. I think for many of us the head is the real issue. The surgery helps with the mechanics of being overweight, but unless we sort out our heads we are always on a slippery slope with food/weight and other addictions as well. Have you booked in with a counsellor or therapist? I have seen Janet one of the Streamline team and she has been fantastic, would recommend her without hesitation….

    Great to hear that you are tackling this though, I worry that many of us post wls-ers do not and end up struggling when things become less easy the further out from surgery we get.

    Good luck.

    SJ

    #44849
    Janifred
    Member

    Thanks for the heads up ( bad pun I know) you mentioned booking into the streamline with a great counsellor. Is that done on my behalf or is it my responsibility? I’m being dense and can’t remember from last week (consultation) who does what. Now I’ve got the green light do I book in a date for the bypass? And make the call. Confused here x

    Sent from my iPhone using WLS FORUM

    #44814
    Doodah
    Keymaster

    Hi Janifred

    Maybe you should call the care line (at the top of the page) and ask exactly what happens next? It’s so much to take in at the consultation isn’t it?!

    Doodah x

    #44813
    Anonymous
    Guest

    @Janifred 15525 wrote:

    Hi everyone
    my journey, it would seem, is to take me to the ‘head stuff’ now and get help on how to deal with my emotional dependence on food especially after the Bypass. I really don’t want to transfer this onto something else, so I’m not sure, what is the alternative?
    I suppose the referral will be made on my behalf and I will know in due course. m m m m m m m mmmmmmm I am an old worrier. Can anyone out there offer some ideas on what to expect

    I wish they could do something with my head…..lol… it needs chopping off somedays…
    Surgery is a wonderful tool, we all have a long honeymoon to try to get ourselves better aqauinted with eating and I really do believe we begin to make healthier choices naturally.
    That is not to say emotional eating will be a thing of the past. IT WONT BE….

    Thing is, we fall off the band wagon, beat ourselves up a bit and get back on… (I do)

    I would love something on the forum to help with our emotional relationship with food…..

    I am more emotional now than I ever was… and naturally will break boundries….

    Thankfully, With you lot out their, with the everyday struggles we have it helps me realise if i continue to self destruct I will spoil all I have achieved…

    Hope you find some comfort, and sollutions….. were all sharing the fear, the worries and the demons…..

    Buzz xx

    #44845
    terry
    Member

    I had my bypass 2 years ago and have lost 12 stone. Now I am struggling with food and I’m worried about putting weight on. I can’t overeat at meal times as can b ill but can snack more. Ive never been to support group b4 but am going to one in a couple of weeks. I’ve been emotional about things lately and think that’s y I’m eating more then normal. I don’t want to self destruct. Any advice from anyone would b great

    xx terry

    #44830

    @terry 15675 wrote:

    I had my bypass 2 years ago and have lost 12 stone. Now I am struggling with food and I’m worried about putting weight on. I can’t overeat at meal times as can b ill but can snack more. Ive never been to support group b4 but am going to one in a couple of weeks. I’ve been emotional about things lately and think that’s y I’m eating more then normal. I don’t want to self destruct. Any advice from anyone would b great

    xx terry

    I have just started a training workshop as opposed to a ”support group” as I am a qualified trainer.
    My workshops cover all these points especially food issues and why we feel compelled to overeat
    and self sabotage our weight loss efforts
    and use a terrifyingly harsh inner critic on ourselves
    as for being a glass half full type of person
    WE ALL ARE THATS HOW WE GOT fat in the first place
    I know I certainly have lived most my adult life either(compulsive emotional) eating or starving on the latest diet
    NO MIDDLE GROUND going from one extreme to the other
    and 3 years post bypass am in EXACTLY the same position as if i dont diet strictly and excersise then i gain WEIGHT
    and I thought after bypass
    i would never have to diet again
    thought i had this licked
    lol ha ha ha!!!
    Please read my post on ”compelled to eat”
    you never know it may help a bit
    if not -what have you got to lose
    best of luck on your own weight loss journey

    #44831

    Hi Everyone,
    As most of you know I am a CBT Trainer,and I have been asked to design and develop a short series of six interactive workshops around the subject of” Emotional Eating”
    One thing I have discovered is that Emotional Eaters/Compulsive Eaters are ”all or nothing ” people
    We can diet and even starve or we can eat and simply not know how or when to stop- but what we cant do (for any sustainable period of time) is to be MODERATE
    to eat in moderation!
    We also often ”fail” to recognise hunger as pre surgery we never allowed ourselves to feel hungry!
    One thing I know FOR SURE is that I truly believe that how we think about food often determines how we act around food.
    So I am trying to develop my workshops around learning new behaviours and trying to look at ways of changing how we think(about food and our emotional attachment to it)
    I believe as we are always going to ”FEEL” emotions anger/frustration/happiness/ sadness/low self esteem etc
    that there can’t actually be a ”cure” as feeling these emotions is what makes us human
    However-I wondered If I throw it open to the wise old owls in the forum what you all might think
    As I am most interested in and could use the research lol!!!
    Please feel free to express your views on this point
    Any responses will be very much appriciated as words from the wise
    as you have all
    ”BEEN THERE-DONE THAT” so to speak
    regards
    STILL xxx

    #44860
    penzo
    Member

    Hi, Emotional eating is a minefield. As a mental health practitioner working with eating disorders I have spent many hours thinking about this topic. For a personal perspective my earlier family scripts taught me to use food for a variety of emotions and to finish what I was given. As an adult I found feeling full on foods that I liked the nearest feeling to feeling loved which is ironic as it is followed by self loathing!
    Maybe starving ourselves is a way of numbing feelings and stuffing ourselves stuffs the feelings further down. Self induced vomiting can be viewed as getting difficult feels out.
    Humans have amazing ability to learn but what about the same ability to unlearn?? I really hoping I can!
    Penzo

    #44832

    Thanks Penzo
    I love your truth
    thank you for sharing xxxx

    #44815
    Doodah
    Keymaster

    Hi Still

    More than happy to share my own personal experiences.

    I was raised in a very unusual household that bears more resemblence to a mix of Angela’s Ashes and Little House on the Prairy than anything ‘normal’. My Mum and her 10 brothers and sisters (later found to be 15 of them!) were orphaned and when the eldest two became old enough, they were reunited from thier various orphanges and raised each other. I ended up living back at that house with my Mum (who found herself on her own after we were abandoned by my biological father) and all the other siblings. Mum and my Auntie Lee (Mummy Lee) took it in turns to organise the very little money we had to live on (no benefits in the 50’s!) and their styles of management couldn’t be more different.

    Mum was frugal and we ate properly every day of her 2 weeks with no extras or treats. Mummy Lee would give us steak and ice cream for 1 week, then bread and dripping the next. I prefered Mummy Lee’s. My therapist of three years deduced that my binge/starve attitude to food was set by this way of living (I was 18 months old when we were abandoned)

    So, the fact that I was bulimic from the age of 15 comes as no surprise to anyone really. That’s when I started to ‘fill out’.
    It was my way of coping with emotion until I had my wls. The surgery took away the ability to binge so I was FORCED to find another way to cope. I don’t use food as a crutch anymore. Instead, I TALK, TALK, TALK about how I’m feeling. I tell people if they have upset me and I no longer accept my lot in life. 3 years of therapy have helped me to deal with my abandonment issues and I now try never to bottle things up. I will always WANT to turn to food for comfort – I just no longer can. I’m lucky I have found an alternative.

    Hope this all helps in some small way. It’s such an interesting concept and I suspect one that will be pondered for many, many years.

    Doodah x

    #44826
    Andy
    Member

    Don’t know what the solution is, i have always eaten when i was sad, stressed or upset, but recently when my arthritis flarred up i found myself doing the opposite, and not eating. I still don’t feel hungry 20 months post op, and i do pick somedays at things i shouldn’t, but maybe the fear of regain is what keeps me in check. Emotional eating is a real problem i know, and i really do feel it can be unlearnt, and i have been trying but it is hard. To be honest though i really feel there are those who really don’t want to relearn for whatever reason, and as far as wls is concerned, they believe it is a cure and therefor don’t need to relearn, but that is my personel opinion, and it only applies to a very small number. As i said though it is really hard, and i think everyones experiance’s are different. x

    #44833

    WOW! sue
    thank you so much for sharing & the trust you have shown
    I am so very proud of all you have achieved not just physically via surgery but far more impressive
    is how you have taken ownership of and responsibility for your ongoing development
    WAY 2 GO GIRL!!!!
    tHe only thing I would say is how are you with others when others feel the same and now talk out their feelings and dont hesitate to tell you how they feel?
    Is that okay with you
    or do you sometimes feel like its a form of ”attack”??
    just wondering?
    I hope you don’t , mind me asking you?

    #44834

    @Andy 17261 wrote:

    Don’t know what the solution is, i have always eaten when i was sad, stressed or upset, but recently when my arthritis flarred up i found myself doing the opposite, and not eating. I still don’t feel hungry 20 months post op, and i do pick somedays at things i shouldn’t, but maybe the fear of regain is what keeps me in check. Emotional eating is a real problem i know, and i really do feel it can be unlearnt, and i have been trying but it is hard. To be honest though i really feel there are those who really don’t want to relearn for whatever reason, and as far as wls is concerned, they believe it is a cure and therefor don’t need to relearn, but that is my personel opinion, and it only applies to a very small number. As i said though it is really hard, and i think everyones experiance’s are different. x

    Thanks Andy
    I agree totally with the points you have raised
    except for some people not wanting to relearn is a very small number
    WHat I see in my training rooms disputes that so many people thought pre surgery that this would ”fix” them without dieting & excersize
    boy are they having a tough time of it now!
    It’s growing in number with each course I deliver
    a little bit scary actually x

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