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Discrimination and obesity

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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #31412
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Hi some of you might have seen my previous thread where ATM I’m having heart problems and having to put the WLS on hold . .
    Now I’m not going to pretend that being obese has not impacted on my health , and I know losing weight will help ,
    But it feels to me that it clouding their decision . Has other felt discriminated about being overweight .

    #50251
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 28936 wrote:

    Hi some of you might have seen my previous thread where ATM I’m having heart problems and having to put the WLS on hold . .
    Now I’m not going to pretend that being obese has not impacted on my health , and I know losing weight will help ,
    But it feels to me that it clouding their decision . Has other felt discriminated about being overweight .

    Kimberly, this is a really significant and important post. Thank you SO much for raising the issue.

    I should imagine that almost everyone who answers it will say ‘Yes’ to your question. I know I do!

    My dear little Mum once told a doctor that if he mentioned my weight once more she would poke his eyes out!! She was so frustrated by the way he attributed absolutely everything that went wrong with my pregnancies that she was pushed to the absolute limit. It prompted the threat!

    I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (what The Duchess of Cambridge had but about 100 times worse) and ended up in hospital the entire time throughout both my pregnancies. My children were both born premature and had significant health problems. HG can happen to any woman regardless of weight, race, colour or religion but my GP said it was because of my weight! I had to get a different GP in the end.

    Then, on my 25th wedding anniversary, a complete stranger in the street pointed at me and shouted ‘Look at the size of THAT’. She didn’t even refer to me as a human being. That stung and hurt me more than I could ever say but to my surprise and gratitude, the whole of Temple Bar (in Dublin) turned on her and shouted her down. Gotta love Irish people!!

    So, as you can see Kimberly, I have experienced discrimination and prejudice both medically (like you) and emotionally/psychologically (probably like everyone else) on more than a few occasions. It’s wrong, unacceptable, reprehensible and possibly (and if it isn’t it ruddy well should be) illegal. I do so hope that it will be stamped out in the near future. The USA now recognises obesity as a disease so maybe the tide is turning…..? Let’s all live in hope.

    Doodah x

    #50256
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Thank you Doodah it seems that being obese is all the medics see

    #50260
    alismum
    Member

    So sorry to hear that you are having heart problems. My wls was delayed by a few months as the anaesthetist was worried about my pacemaker, but was having it changed anyway as the battery was going. This was done in February and I finally had wls surgery 2 weeks ago without any problems. My cardiologist and GP were so supportive and recommended the surgery. With regard to prejudice, although no one had actually said anything to me I always felt awkward when trying to get to a table in a restaurant and having to ask people to move their chairs, or asking cabin crew for an extension for the seat belt and feeling like a great lump of lard because of it. Well no more! I’ve now started my new life and am already seeing the results. People should be more tolerant. If you are anything like me I wasn’t forever feeding my face but feel a lot of the problem was emotional eating and yo yo dieting.

    I hope you can get your health problems sorted quickly.

    #50252
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    I can absolutely identify with anyone who has had to scope out a restaurant or theatre in advance of going. Prejudice does exist. It shouldn’t but it does.

    Our lovely friend, Carol Ball is a member of HOOP. Maybe you might be interested?

    Helping overcome obesity problems – Hoop UK

    Doodah x

    #50257
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Thank you
    I have just seen the cardiologist who referring me to see the cardiac surgeons in Southampton , I’m having fingers cross my aortic heart valve replaced. I am still having to keep trying to lose weight as every pound counts in post operation recovery . He said after the heart surgery in 6 months or a bit longer then I might be fit enough for WLS .
    What a wake up call , but it’s now so important that I lose weight , my life really depends on it .

    #50253
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 29014 wrote:

    Thank you
    I have just seen the cardiologist who referring me to see the cardiac surgeons in Southampton , I’m having fingers cross my aortic heart valve replaced. I am still having to keep trying to lose weight as every pound counts in post operation recovery . He said after the heart surgery in 6 months or a bit longer then I might be fit enough for WLS .
    What a wake up call , but it’s now so important that I lose weight , my life really depends on it .

    I know the cardiac team in Southampton quite well (Southampton General Hospital NHS) and they are an absolutely superb group of people. They have saved my Dad’s life twice! My Sister used to work on the cardiothoracic ward so I can assure you that the whole team are totally dedicated professionals.

    In a way, You are getting two shots at a better, healthier life: a fixed and beautifully ticking heart that will help you to lose your excess weight. I always try to see the positives!

    I’m so, so in awe of you Kimberly. You have tried to remain upbeat and positive when, quite frankly, many of us would have just crumbled. You are a ruddy inspiration. ‘Never give up: never surrender’ as Captain Kirk says lol! I actually think you might be the bravest of us all ;-))

    Doodah x

    #50258
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Thank you yes it’s Southampton nhs .
    The cardiologist recommended the milk diet . Apparently they have a weight limit of 125 kgs , it’s to do with operating tables luckily I’m just under ATM . So I’m on day one of the milk diet but at least I have a feeling of hope that I have a future . To be really honest when I was told my heart not fit enough for WLS , I though that I was doomed , and i felt like a ticking time bomb waiting for the big heart attack . So if your looking at this and thinking about WLS do it .love your self enough to do it .

    #50254
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 29020 wrote:

    Thank you yes it’s Southampton nhs .
    The cardiologist recommended the milk diet . Apparently they have a weight limit of 125 kgs , it’s to do with operating tables luckily I’m just under ATM . So I’m on day one of the milk diet but at least I have a feeling of hope that I have a future . To be really honest when I was told my heart not fit enough for WLS , I though that I was doomed , and i felt like a ticking time bomb waiting for the big heart attack . So if your looking at this and thinking about WLS do it .love your self enough to do it .

    Absolutely, 100% agree with you Kimberly. I say at every seminar and support group: ‘Be kind to yourself and just for once, put yourself first.’ and I ALWAYS mean it.

    One of our dear friends decided to give up smoking when his partner became pregnant as he didn’t want his nicotine-laden breath to transfer to his partner when they kissed (she is a non-smoker.) He loved his unborn child so much that he just quit and went cold turkey.

    Unfortunately, he should have loved himself more and given up sooner – he is now terminally ill with cancer. He will not see the child he loves more than anything else in the world, including himself, child grow up. He always thought he would never marry or have children so he didn’t have a reason to quit smoking. We all tried to make him see that HE was worth quitting for. It fell on deaf ears.

    The point I’m trying to make is that Kimberly is utterly correct – do it now. Don’t wait. Love yourself enough to do this for YOU. None of live in isolation – there is always someone to whom you mean the world even if you might have forgotten it. Save your own life while you have the chance. My ONLY regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. unlike my dear friend, I didn’t leave it too late for another shot at life.

    Kimberly you are never doomed until they tell you so. There is always hope up until that point.

    Sorry if I’m being a bit maudlin today: it’s one month since I lost my darling dog, Bennie. I still miss him so much but know that he is at peace over the rainbow bridge: it’s the only thing that makes it bearable. Our friend loved him too so hopefully he will walk him for me when he gets there……

    Doodah x

    #50259
    Kimberly
    Participant

    No doodah grief hits us. All and your grieving for a loved one x and it will take time but be kind to your self xx I have hope now that I will have my heart fixed , that I will do the milk diet and when healed have WLS . It just going to take me a little bit longer than I expected . But how I wished. I had the surgery 4/5 years ago . But struggling to drink all the milk , but I’m not hungry .

    #50255
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    You are so brave and stoic Kimberly. Here’s me all fed up because I can’t go ahead with my plastics because I’m not healthy enough and you have so much more to conquer. I feel ashamed now. You truly are an inspiration. Please don’t ever forget that 🙂

    Doodah x

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