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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • #31713
    mccharm2005
    Member

    Have just been asked to apply for a 6 month secondment to California with my work which could be a fantastic opportunity and even a once in a lifetime chance however if I am successful I will need to delay my Bypass surgery until I return. Will I be allowed to do this or will I be taken off of the list and have to start the process all over again?

    #53930
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @mccharm2005 33749 wrote:

    Have just been asked to apply for a 6 month secondment to California with my work which could be a fantastic opportunity and even a once in a lifetime chance however if I am successful I will need to delay my Bypass surgery until I return. Will I be allowed to do this or will I be taken off of the list and have to start the process all over again?

    Truthful answer is – I don’t know.

    Have a word with your team to see what they say. The decision will ultimately be yours. I have to say, I don’t envy you this one. It’s a toughie.

    However, what I can say, is what I would do. My health would come first every single time.

    Please let us know how you get on and what you decide to do. Here’s hoping you don’t have to choose and that both life-changing events happen 😉

    Doodah x

    Doodah x

    #53938
    Lelly
    Member

    @mccharm2005 33749 wrote:

    Have just been asked to apply for a 6 month secondment to California with my work which could be a fantastic opportunity and even a once in a lifetime chance however if I am successful I will need to delay my Bypass surgery until I return. Will I be allowed to do this or will I be taken off of the list and have to start the process all over again?

    I understand your wish to do this secondment, it is a great opportunity but in six months plus waiting list time you may have increased in size by a fare bit. A friend of mine and our eldest Son have been out there and portions are huge and my friend struggled to find any really healthy food. It is obviously your choice but if I was in your shoes I would have the operation. Take care and let us know what you have decided, exciting times whatever you decide

    Lelly x

    #53931
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Lelly 33764 wrote:

    I understand your wish to do this secondment, it is a great opportunity but in six months plus waiting list time you may have increased in size by a fare bit. A friend of mine and our eldest Son have been out there and portions are huge and my friend struggled to find any really healthy food. It is obviously your choice but if I was in your shoes I would have the operation. Take care and let us know what you have decided, exciting times whatever you decide

    Lelly x

    That’s a really important point you have raised there Lelly.

    Massive portion sizes and food on just about every corner could make is very, very difficult to stay healthy for 6 months.

    However, only you can decide what is best for you and your family. Whatever you choose, we will all be right beside you with support and very best wishes for your adventure.

    Doodah x

    #53936
    treeza
    Member

    Hi mccharm
    This is a huge dilemma for you. It’s difficult to know what what I’d do if I was put in this position but I have to be honest & say I’d probably have the operation. Your health is so much more important than a job. I obviously don’t know much about you or if you have any current health issues but I’m not sure I’d risk waiting. Is there no chance the job would wait until you’ve had the op & recover or is it now or never.
    Sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear but these ops are life saving & life giving.
    Having said all of that I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you. Let us know what you decide.
    Take care
    Teresa

    #53932
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    Treeza, you have brought up a particularly difficult subject – when to ‘tell it like it is.’

    As you all know, I always try to be as diplomatic as I can when I am asked a direct question. This is because sometimes, I know in my heart that the person asking it could be upset by my answer – especially if it’s not what they want to hear.

    When I took over the admin of this forum, I decided that there were certain ‘rules’ that we should all follow:

    No judgement
    No unkindness
    No political/religious/cultural/gender/sexuality/disability slurs or negativity
    No untruths.

    I am very happy to say that I have never had to deal with any of the above ‘rules’.

    Sometimes, when people ask for advice, they want to hear the truth in order to add it to their ‘pros and cons list’. I know I do! I ask for advice to hear the echo of what I already know in my heart to be true – whether or not it is what I WANT to hear. I hope I am making sense (always a first time haha!)

    This forum and the people on it sincerely care about each other and try to support every single decision that is made by others – whether or not they agree with them. Therefore, it would be wrong for anyone to simply say what they think the other person wants to hear. It takes a huge amount of courage to ask the question: but even more to answer it truthfully.

    We all want what’s best for you mccharm, and will support you no matter the decision at which you arrive.

    Doodah x

    #53942
    mccharm2005
    Member

    Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I welcome everything that has been said and I am pleased to get some honest feedback from a different angle than others who do not have an understanding of weight loss struggles.

    Since my first post I have spoken to St Richards and they have helped clear up that part of my question. Basically if I chose to take the secondment they will have to discharge me back to my GP however when i return the GP can refer me back to them without having to start the whole process from the tier 3 stage. The downside is that I will have to wait for a new MDT appointment and start my wait for a date again. The lady I spoke to did say that they hope to be getting the wait times back down nearer to a 3 month wait but it could still be around 6 months which is a chance I would have to take. Luckily my health is not really bad at this point however I take on board the comments about American portion sizes etc.. And I understand that this could be a big issue if I don’t control myself, but I suppose history shows that is not a strong point of mine lol. Well I still have a lot of thinking to do on this subject so please keep advise coming. Isn’t it just typical that two fantastic things that I have waited for years to come along happen at the same time? Maybe I should hope for the third thing and do a couple of lines on the euro millions this week lol.

    #53939
    Lelly
    Member

    @mccharm2005 33778 wrote:

    Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I welcome everything that has been said and I am pleased to get some honest feedback from a different angle than others who do not have an understanding of weight loss struggles.

    Since my first post I have spoken to St Richards and they have helped clear up that part of my question. Basically if I chose to take the secondment they will have to discharge me back to my GP however when i return the GP can refer me back to them without having to start the whole process from the tier 3 stage. The downside is that I will have to wait for a new MDT appointment and start my wait for a date again. The lady I spoke to did say that they hope to be getting the wait times back down nearer to a 3 month wait but it could still be around 6 months which is a chance I would have to take. Luckily my health is not really bad at this point however I take on board the comments about American portion sizes etc.. And I understand that this could be a big issue if I don’t control myself, but I suppose history shows that is not a strong point of mine lol. Well I still have a lot of thinking to do on this subject so please keep advise coming. Isn’t it just typical that two fantastic things that I have waited for years to come along happen at the same time? Maybe I should hope for the third thing and do a couple of lines on the euro millions this week lol.

    It is definitely good news that you would not have to start from scratch again mccharm, what do your family think?

    Lelly

    #53937
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Good luck with making this decision, not easy.

    Obviously, I don’t know anything about what you do for a living or what your relationship is with your employer but have you considered being up front with them and explaining the situation? I know you say this is a once in a lifetime opportunity so the secondment may be for a particular project and its now or never but if you’re so well thought of to be asked to go, could it be delayed or rescheduled for next year.

    I was lucky because my surgery was 75% paid by my health insurance so I was effectively a private patient and I could choose my date. I just spoke to my boss and agreed the best time for them to spare me for a couple of weeks

    #53933
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @mccharm2005 33778 wrote:

    Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I welcome everything that has been said and I am pleased to get some honest feedback from a different angle than others who do not have an understanding of weight loss struggles.

    Since my first post I have spoken to St Richards and they have helped clear up that part of my question. Basically if I chose to take the secondment they will have to discharge me back to my GP however when i return the GP can refer me back to them without having to start the whole process from the tier 3 stage. The downside is that I will have to wait for a new MDT appointment and start my wait for a date again. The lady I spoke to did say that they hope to be getting the wait times back down nearer to a 3 month wait but it could still be around 6 months which is a chance I would have to take. Luckily my health is not really bad at this point however I take on board the comments about American portion sizes etc.. And I understand that this could be a big issue if I don’t control myself, but I suppose history shows that is not a strong point of mine lol. Well I still have a lot of thinking to do on this subject so please keep advise coming. Isn’t it just typical that two fantastic things that I have waited for years to come along happen at the same time? Maybe I should hope for the third thing and do a couple of lines on the euro millions this week lol.

    Life is a bit of a joker at times isn’t it – giving us more than one positive thing to have to decide upon. Especially if there has been a ‘drought’ of good opportunities for a while!

    One good thing – you are not having to choose the lesser of two evils! I hope you make the right decision for you and your family. I’m sure you will. best of British luck with it :-0

    Doodah x

    #53943
    Vickster
    Member

    Oh my goodness, two potentially life changing events, that are poles apart! This may sound like a weird, soppy, soft way of making a decision, and I fully accept that it’s not for every body, but this is what I do when I am struggling to make a choice, and although it is impossible to say whether I made the right choice or not, I have always been happy with the outcome, so that’s enough for me!
    What I do is “try each situation on”. Imagine you taking yourself off the list, packing your bags, travelling and starting your new role. Imagine each day, think about what three months in feels like. Imagine a really good day. Imagine a really stressful day. Think about ringing home and speaking to your family. Think about feeling homesick. Really try and immerse yourself in how that feels. Then think about how your body feels in reaction to this. Does your tummy do summersaults of excitement? Does your heart race in anxiety? Does it feel “true” to you?

    Then try it with the other option, of staying and having the op. Think about the milk diet, the walk down to surgery, think about pureeing your meals, really try and feel it. Then think again about the physical sensations and reactions. Does one option feel “more right” than the other?

    The other thing is, have you told work your concerns? Is there likely to be another opportunity if you don’t go for it this time?

    As everyone else has said, only you can make the decision, but I might be a bit tempted to at least apply for it, and see what comes of it. I was once given an amazing piece of advice, and that was that a job interview or application process isn’t just for them to see if you are the one for them, but also for you to see if it is what you really want. That was so empowering, and the next time I went for an interview, I was offered the job, but having seen how the team worked etc, I decided it really wasn’t for me. And I then heard that three months later the company went out of business, so I was so relieved!
    Good luck in whatever you decide to do, just trust yourself and your intuition, then whatever decision you make, you will know that you made the best one for you!

    #53940
    Lelly
    Member

    Would you be going alone or with your family mccharm, as that would make the decision for me, couldn’t be without my family for that long, if they are going with you then it is a different matter, how long have you got before you have to tell them?

    Lelly

    #53934
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Vickster 33782 wrote:

    Oh my goodness, two potentially life changing events, that are poles apart! This may sound like a weird, soppy, soft way of making a decision, and I fully accept that it’s not for every body, but this is what I do when I am struggling to make a choice, and although it is impossible to say whether I made the right choice or not, I have always been happy with the outcome, so that’s enough for me!
    What I do is “try each situation on”. Imagine you taking yourself off the list, packing your bags, travelling and starting your new role. Imagine each day, think about what three months in feels like. Imagine a really good day. Imagine a really stressful day. Think about ringing home and speaking to your family. Think about feeling homesick. Really try and immerse yourself in how that feels. Then think about how your body feels in reaction to this. Does your tummy do summersaults of excitement? Does your heart race in anxiety? Does it feel “true” to you?

    Then try it with the other option, of staying and having the op. Think about the milk diet, the walk down to surgery, think about pureeing your meals, really try and feel it. Then think again about the physical sensations and reactions. Does one option feel “more right” than the other?

    The other thing is, have you told work your concerns? Is there likely to be another opportunity if you don’t go for it this time?

    As everyone else has said, only you can make the decision, but I might be a bit tempted to at least apply for it, and see what comes of it. I was once given an amazing piece of advice, and that was that a job interview or application process isn’t just for them to see if you are the one for them, but also for you to see if it is what you really want. That was so empowering, and the next time I went for an interview, I was offered the job, but having seen how the team worked etc, I decided it really wasn’t for me. And I then heard that three months later the company went out of business, so I was so relieved!
    Good luck in whatever you decide to do, just trust yourself and your intuition, then whatever decision you make, you will know that you made the best one for you!

    What a good idea Vickster. My only reservation would be that it is in my nature to only see prospective pitfalls. I’m not a pessimist as such, just acutely aware that I’m the sort of person that likes to be fully aware of what can go wrong in any given situation, so that I already have plans A, B ,C ,D E and F in place!

    I have taken enormous ‘leaps of faith’ in the past that have ended badly – life-changingly badly – and it was only my contingency plans that got me through them. I freely admit that I am not a risk taker. However, the biggest risk I have ever taken was to have wls – I’m SO glad I did.

    You are right, Vickster, intuition is your sub conscience telling you what you already know in your heart to be true. That’s my humble opinion anyway. My Maxillo Facial appt today has been postponed – I am devastated. I’m trying very hard not to be ‘glass half empty’ about it but I have put in place my plan B. Let’s see what happens….

    How long do you have to make the decision mcharm? I sometimes think it’s harder if you are given plenty of time!

    Doodah x

    #53941
    Lelly
    Member

    @mccharm2005 33778 wrote:

    Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I welcome everything that has been said and I am pleased to get some honest feedback from a different angle than others who do not have an understanding of weight loss struggles.

    Since my first post I have spoken to St Richards and they have helped clear up that part of my question. Basically if I chose to take the secondment they will have to discharge me back to my GP however when i return the GP can refer me back to them without having to start the whole process from the tier 3 stage. The downside is that I will have to wait for a new MDT appointment and start my wait for a date again. The lady I spoke to did say that they hope to be getting the wait times back down nearer to a 3 month wait but it could still be around 6 months which is a chance I would have to take. Luckily my health is not really bad at this point however I take on board the comments about American portion sizes etc.. And I understand that this could be a big issue if I don’t control myself, but I suppose history shows that is not a strong point of mine lol. Well I still have a lot of thinking to do on this subject so please keep advise coming. Isn’t it just typical that two fantastic things that I have waited for years to come along happen at the same time? Maybe I should hope for the third thing and do a couple of lines on the euro millions this week lol.

    Have you made a decision yet mccharm?

    Lelly x

    #53935
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    Hi mccharm. Hope you head hasn’t exploded from all the decision making you have had to do.

    I have been thinking about you and actually feeling quite thankful that the decision is not mine to make. It’s a REAL toughie!

    Wishing you the best ever outcome, no matter what you decide to do 🙂

    Doodah x

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