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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 21 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #31707
    loulou19
    Member

    Hi all

    I am down from a size 22 to a 16, which to me is amazing and I am really pleased. However I am off to a wedding in a week or so, and have bought a new fitted shift dress (and underwear that slurps you in). But now I am not sure if I feel confident enough to wear it. It is really odd – wanted to lose weight for so long and now feel self conscious ! Not sure if it is because the dress is fitted and I haven’t worn anything fitted for 15 or so years, the colour is brighter than I’ve worn for a while. My friend says I look great but I just cant quite see it.

    What’s going on with me???? Need to get some perspective on this.

    xx

    #53862
    Lelly
    Member

    @loulou19 33649 wrote:

    Hi all

    I am down from a size 22 to a 16, which to me is amazing and I am really pleased. However I am off to a wedding in a week or so, and have bought a new fitted shift dress (and underwear that slurps you in). But now I am not sure if I feel confident enough to wear it. It is really odd – wanted to lose weight for so long and now feel self conscious ! Not sure if it is because the dress is fitted and I haven’t worn anything fitted for 15 or so years, the colour is brighter than I’ve worn for a while. My friend says I look great but I just cant quite see it.

    What’s going on with me???? Need to get some perspective on this.

    xx

    I am sure that you look fantastic, your friend would never let you wear something that doesn’t suit you or didn’t look great. I am far bigger than you were at your largest but I wear clothes that are actually too big for me as I don’t want anyone to see all the rolls of fat. You are just used to wearing loose clothes as they look better on bigger people but it’s also a confidence thing we are used to trying to hide ourselves in loose baggy clothes and drab colours to try and blend into the background. You have lost so much weight, be proud and show yourself off to the world, the wallflower is dead, bring on the flamboyant lily.

    Lelly x

    #53863
    loulou19
    Member

    Thank you Lelly for your kind words and you are spot on.

    I am proud of my weight loss – it has really surprised me that I am self conscious.

    It is confidence thing ! I have always wanted to hide and not bring attention to myself, merge into the background so to speak, so my new dress is out of my comfort zone. Guess I need ‘man up’ and face the world.

    when your time comes Lelly, you make all the preparations then something odd catches you by surprise, fingers crossed your date comes through soon.

    xx

    #53861
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Trust your friend. That is why she’s your friend, she would not allow you to wear something if you’re going to look a bugger!

    Seriously thought, you’re right about needing to learn to dress confidently, I spent years in baggy and black clothes. But there’s a whole world of colours and styles and I need to learn to wear them.

    Chris x

    #53847
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @loulou19 33649 wrote:

    Hi all

    I am down from a size 22 to a 16, which to me is amazing and I am really pleased. However I am off to a wedding in a week or so, and have bought a new fitted shift dress (and underwear that slurps you in). But now I am not sure if I feel confident enough to wear it. It is really odd – wanted to lose weight for so long and now feel self conscious ! Not sure if it is because the dress is fitted and I haven’t worn anything fitted for 15 or so years, the colour is brighter than I’ve worn for a while. My friend says I look great but I just cant quite see it.

    What’s going on with me???? Need to get some perspective on this.

    xx

    Lou – firstly ‘slurp’ – hahaha! that made me laugh so much and I’m going to call it that from now on!

    I think most women have this fear – even if they are a size 10.

    I think all women, regardless of size, are ambiguous about wearing form fitting clothes. we want to show off our hard work and highlight our best features, yet at the same time, we don’t want it to look like we are ‘trying too hard’. Ridiculous isn’t it? it’s like we cannot win!

    My advice is the same as everyone else’s. If your friend says you look great then you do. Slurp into that underwear (love it) hold your head high and own that outfit – nothing is more attractive than confidence.

    I hope you have an amazing time and be ready for all the compliments 😉

    Doodah x

    #53855
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Oh I do know were your coming from I struggled with clothes that were fitting as I was so use to wearing big black baggy clothes . But put on the suck on clothes and smile you will have so many complements . Now seriously get your self fitted for a good bra even it will really lift and separate it will and takes years off . I use sainsbury gok vest and suck in pants and some times Asda have ones that go under your bra . Your be fabulous darling just do your nails and put your lippy hold your on head high. And do you strut . You could always do what beyonce does have an altered ego lol xx just for one day x

    #53848
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 33660 wrote:

    Oh I do know were your coming from I struggled with clothes that were fitting as I was so use to wearing big black baggy clothes . But put on the suck on clothes and smile you will have so many complements . Now seriously get your self fitted for a good bra even it will really lift and separate it will and takes years off . I use sainsbury gok vest and suck in pants and some times Asda have ones that go under your bra . Your be fabulous darling just do your nails and put your lippy hold your on head high. And do you strut . You could always do what beyonce does have an altered ego lol xx just for one day x

    I am LOVING that idea – alter ego for a day!

    Kim you are so right about getting the right bra. Shame there isn’t something to lengthen legs other than vertiginous high heels that I can no longer balance in!!

    Doodah x

    #53864
    loulou19
    Member

    Thank you all so much. I really feel that your advice is right, mainly because you’ve all been there and understand.

    I have decided to ‘go for it’, its my 50th birthday the day after, so a double celebration. And , apart from the health benefits, buying and wearing nicer clothes was one of the things I was looking forward to.

    Having a bra fitting tomorrow so that they stay in the right place !

    thanks again everyone, you say all the right things

    xx

    #53849
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @loulou19 33666 wrote:

    Thank you all so much. I really feel that your advice is right, mainly because you’ve all been there and understand.

    I have decided to ‘go for it’, its my 50th birthday the day after, so a double celebration. And , apart from the health benefits, buying and wearing nicer clothes was one of the things I was looking forward to.

    Having a bra fitting tomorrow so that they stay in the right place !

    thanks again everyone, you say all the right things

    xx

    YES!!! I am loving this. You GO FOR IT!! You have worked really hard and now totally deserve to reap all the benefits. I hope you feel like a million dollars in your outfit – because you will definitely look it.

    Would love to see some pics 😉

    Doodah x

    #53858
    treeza
    Member

    I usually get my hubby or son to take a picture of me in the outfit as I see the whole thing properly then make a decision!! I think if your friend is a good friend & you can trust she will tell you the truth then you should listen to her. I say if you feel comfortable in it you should wear it with pride x show the world how amazingly well you’ve done. Especially with your under wear that “slurps” you in :0) x

    I love the “slurp” made me giggle :0)) x

    #53859
    treeza
    Member

    Omg reading that back makes me sound so vain having a picture taken. It’s the only way I sort of see the new me. It’s weird because I still see myself a huge!! People keep calling me skinny which of course I am not as I’m still in size 16 but I guess compared to my old size 30/32 I am skinny to them.
    I seem to have melted from the top & everything has slipped down to my hips & thighs :0))

    #53865
    loulou19
    Member

    Having a photo taken doesn’t sound vain, think it is a good idea to give you some perspective. Think I will try it xx

    #53850
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @loulou19 33687 wrote:

    Having a photo taken doesn’t sound vain, think it is a good idea to give you some perspective. Think I will try it xx

    Taking a photo isn’t vain at all. And even if it were – it’s fully justified! You are right: it does give perspective. I still have my ‘before’ photos to hand so that when I’m having a ‘fat’ (in my head) day, I can look back and see just how far I have come. I’m 8 years post wls this year and I still need to remind myself every once in a while!

    Doodah x

    #53856
    Kimberly
    Participant

    I think that brilliant Trezza about taking a photo . Be coz our head is still a work in process . I still think I big . But know I’m not weirded stuff

    #53851
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    So true Kim – our heads ARE a work in progress and always will be I suppose?

    Thank goodness we all have each other to lean on. ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ and by the same token: A joy shared is a joy doubled.

    Doodah x

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