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Can’t stop losing

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • #31726
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Now this sounds like a really high class problem and I’ve even felt doubtful about posting on here but my issue is that I don’t seem to be able to stop losing weight. Before I had my op, I discussed an appropriate weight with the team and said I’d like to be 11 stones, giving me a BMI of just under 24. I was told that this may not be achievable but at my annual check I had just reached that and I was thrilled.

    However in the 2 months since then, I’ve lost another 12lb and it shows no sign of stopping. My BMI is now 21.5 so still in the acceptable range but I now feel a bit skinny/puny rather than slim/healthy. I’m 45 and it shows in my face too. I feel as though I’m eating loads, and I’ve added snacks between meals. I’ve also (in a very careful controlled way) started to add more fats like a smear of butter or full fat milk. But I’m also nervous about making myself ill or worse, damaging my bypass by eating too much.

    I hear a lot of bypassers say they ” bounce back” a little with their weight. Am I worrying over nothing? Any assistance or advice welcome.

    Chris x

    #54139
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @bikerchris 33888 wrote:

    Hi all,

    Now this sounds like a really high class problem and I’ve even felt doubtful about posting on here but my issue is that I don’t seem to be able to stop losing weight. Before I had my op, I discussed an appropriate weight with the team and said I’d like to be 11 stones, giving me a BMI of just under 24. I was told that this may not be achievable but at my annual check I had just reached that and I was thrilled.

    However in the 2 months since then, I’ve lost another 12lb and it shows no sign of stopping. My BMI is now 21.5 so still in the acceptable range but I now feel a bit skinny/puny rather than slim/healthy. I’m 45 and it shows in my face too. I feel as though I’m eating loads, and I’ve added snacks between meals. I’ve also (in a very careful controlled way) started to add more fats like a smear of butter or full fat milk. But I’m also nervous about making myself ill or worse, damaging my bypass by eating too much.

    I hear a lot of bypassers say they ” bounce back” a little with their weight. Am I worrying over nothing? Any assistance or advice welcome.

    Chris x

    My first bit of advice is to speak to your team about it. Second bit – most people have some bounce back. Usually about a stone. Some people’s bodies take ages to settle, whilst others can suddenly find themselves gaining a bit after 5 years!

    The very nature of what we have all had done makes us prone to fixating on the numbers. Are you worried that you LOOK weak or feel weak? they are two entirely different things! I believe we get so used to seeing our round chubby faces that a ‘normal’ one seems ‘odd’ to us! If you are healthy, and all your bloods etc are ok, then maybe you are just naturally a very slim person after all?

    Speak to your dietitian. Perhaps you need to change what you are eating now that you have reached the weight you wanted to be. Lastly, don’t EVER be worried about discussing anything on here. You will never, ever be judged.

    Please let me know how you get on. It will be of interest to everyone, plus we all want to support you.

    Doodah x

    #54153
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Thanks Doodah, I’ve made an appointment to speak to Nicole next week.

    I don’t feel weak. I do feel tired by the end of the day but given I’m on the go from about 6am every day and I am active, that’s probably normal. There is also a slight issue with my iron absorption which I am aware of and working on. That may be wearing me out a bit too.

    #54162
    Lelly
    Member

    @bikerchris 33895 wrote:

    Thanks Doodah, I’ve made an appointment to speak to Nicole next week.

    I don’t feel weak. I do feel tired by the end of the day but given I’m on the go from about 6am every day and I am active, that’s probably normal. There is also a slight issue with my iron absorption which I am aware of and working on. That may be wearing me out a bit too.

    Your problem my lovely is relevant to us all, from pre-op people like myself to others further along their journey, this could happen to any of us. couldn’t it? Maybe you are a bit too active, as we get older we do get tired quicker, also St Richards are now advising us all, due to new research, to take FORCEVAL multi vitamin and mineral capsules, your GP can prescribe them or you can buy them but they are absorbed much better than “normal” vitamin tablets. I bet a few years ago you never thought that you were getting a little too slender did you?
    Take care
    Lelly x

    #54154
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Thanks for that Lelly. Just thinking back to Doodah’s comments about the difference between our usual chubby appearance and what is now my face, I think the change is as difficult for others to comprehend as it is for us. Some people have told me I must stop losing or I’ll look ill. They are mostly well meaning. Then there are those who told me I was slim enough about 4 stones ago. I’ve even had a few cruel comments suggesting I’m anorexic and the like. I think Kim on this forum calls those people”skinny ugly” which sums it up nicely.

    However the change is dramatic and can be difficult to get used to. I think I passed through this weight about the time I started high school and have never looked this way all my adult life

    #54140
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @bikerchris 33900 wrote:

    Thanks for that Lelly. Just thinking back to Doodah’s comments about the difference between our usual chubby appearance and what is now my face, I think the change is as difficult for others to comprehend as it is for us. Some people have told me I must stop losing or I’ll look ill. They are mostly well meaning. Then there are those who told me I was slim enough about 4 stones ago. I’ve even had a few cruel comments suggesting I’m anorexic and the like. I think Kim on this forum calls those people”skinny ugly” which sums it up nicely.

    However the change is dramatic and can be difficult to get used to. I think I passed through this weight about the time I started high school and have never looked this way all my adult life

    It’s one of the lovely people at the Streamline support group who first called someone ‘skinny ugly’ and we all use it now – it’s perfect isn’t it?

    I still don’t recognise myself in shop windows and think someone else has bought exactly the same outfit as me haha! So, if we don’t recognise ourselves, it must be doubly difficult for others. However, there is never any excuse for rudeness. Telling you you look ill is unacceptable. Another irony is that, once you have got used to your new slim face, the moment it looks even slightly chubbier can send us into sheer panic! Gains are frightening. We are so used to gaining everything back that we can find it hard to rationalise that our bodies are simply finding the most HEALTHY weight – which might not correspond with what we view to be an IDEAL one.

    Chris Pring is very keen to help people see this distinction. Reasonable goals are the ones most likely to be achieved and maintained. If you were told you could be a size 16 when you are a 34, you would think you had won the lottery!

    Anyway, I’m glad you are seeing the wonderful Nicole. She will be able to put your mind at ease and come up with the answers you looking for. Say ‘Hi’ to her for me please as I haven’t been up to Harrow in ages! Good luck 🙂

    Doodah x

    #54163
    Lelly
    Member

    @bikerchris 33900 wrote:

    Thanks for that Lelly. Just thinking back to Doodah’s comments about the difference between our usual chubby appearance and what is now my face, I think the change is as difficult for others to comprehend as it is for us. Some people have told me I must stop losing or I’ll look ill. They are mostly well meaning. Then there are those who told me I was slim enough about 4 stones ago. I’ve even had a few cruel comments suggesting I’m anorexic and the like. I think Kim on this forum calls those people”skinny ugly” which sums it up nicely.

    However the change is dramatic and can be difficult to get used to. I think I passed through this weight about the time I started high school and have never looked this way all my adult life

    I am sure that you look lovely, you need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror as if you were someone else, I am sure you would say, she looks lovely, slim and healthy. Don’t listen to people whose comments are not helpful, some people just like the sound of their own voice.

    Lelly x

    #54141
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    Well said, Lelly 🙂

    Doodah x

    #54165
    loulou19
    Member

    Hi Chris, I am really pleased you posted about this. I think when you are large and you talk about ideal weights/how much to lose it seems so far off that you don’t really think about ‘stopping weight loss’.

    When I asked the lovely Mr Slater about this he said to me that initially I may get a ‘bit thin’ but it would even out naturally. I had around 6 stone to lose to get to a BMI of 25, and have a stone and a half to go. It is something that has crossed my mind so would be really interested to hear about the advice you are given.

    I think we can all be critical of ourselves when we look in the mirror, and our heads take a while to catch up – sometimes we see what we want and not what’s really there.

    Best of luck with appointment

    xx

    #54155
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Thanks, I will feed back when I’ve spoken to Nicole.

    Just as a matter of interest, in 2005 I went to America. I was slim-ish (for me) at the time, probably a size 16 & was in a good losing phase. I bought 2 T shirts from Abercrombie & Fitch while I was there, size large. Of course they were miles too small and I never got to wear them, but of course I still have them.

    Anyway I decided to try them on again. I’m 5 feet 8.5 and a UK size 10-12 and yet these T shirts are still too tight to reasonably wear and they ride up. So who exactly are A & F designing for? Not me, that’s for sure!

    #54151
    Kimberly
    Participant

    Chris it might stop soon . Up your snacks like nuts ect . My daughter when 14 was really into ballet and as you know their is evidence about eating disorders and dance . She was a tiny size8 and 5ft 8 . But started saying she was fat !! . So we went to ASDA and picked up a 10 year old shorts . Took them over to the women section and they fitted a size 4 ./6 It’s an interesting experiment . As result she didn’t want a child body .

    #54142
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @Kimberly 33929 wrote:

    Chris it might stop soon . Up your snacks like nuts ect . My daughter when 14 was really into ballet and as you know their is evidence about eating disorders and dance . She was a tiny size8 and 5ft 8 . But started saying she was fat !! . So we went to ASDA and picked up a 10 year old shorts . Took them over to the women section and they fitted a size 4 ./6 It’s an interesting experiment . As result she didn’t want a child body .

    That’s so powerful Kim. Sometimes visual evidence is the only type that works isn’t it?

    Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I know it will be really helpful to everyone.

    Doodah x

    #54143
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @bikerchris 33926 wrote:

    Thanks, I will feed back when I’ve spoken to Nicole.

    Just as a matter of interest, in 2005 I went to America. I was slim-ish (for me) at the time, probably a size 16 & was in a good losing phase. I bought 2 T shirts from Abercrombie & Fitch while I was there, size large. Of course they were miles too small and I never got to wear them, but of course I still have them.

    Anyway I decided to try them on again. I’m 5 feet 8.5 and a UK size 10-12 and yet these T shirts are still too tight to reasonably wear and they ride up. So who exactly are A & F designing for? Not me, that’s for sure!

    Outrageous! Honestly, food and fashion industries need to take a long hard look at themselves don’t they? i sent a T shirt to my son last month. Size M. He is 6′ tall and muscular. It looked like it would fit an 11 year old boy. The message is WRONG on so many levels.

    Is it reducing adults to children or, even worse, is it making children want an adult body too soon? And who is driving this? Top designers produce clothes that look good on teenage boys – for women to wear. Some of the models used in the most famous fashion houses are bordering on skeletal. What must they be doing to themselves to maintain such an unrealistic/unhealthy body? Bring back the days of Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, and Helena Christiansen! Ok they are slim, but they are healthy looking.

    Sorry, I’ve gone off on a tangent with this one! It’s my particular bête noir. Body image is an extremely powerful thing to deal with isn’t it? Are we ever to be satisfied with how we look, even when we reach our own goals….?

    Doodah x

    #54156
    bikerchris
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Just feeding back following my chat with the lovely Nicole this morning. She’s identified that my meal portions are still of the “losing” size rather than the “maintaining” size so has suggested I drop extras from mealtimes like fruit or jelly that I was having and try to eat a larger amount of protein, carbs and veg. I am doubtful how much more I can fit in but I’ll give it a whirl. She says I can always have the fruit later as a snack, or better still a protein snack (instead of a biscuit or two, which I confessed to).

    So I’ll let you know what happens. I asked Nicole if she thought I was just being a bit precious and self obsessed, she kindly said I wasn’t. But maybe I am. As a post wls issue to have, this is a better one than if I’d found my weight loss to be less than my expectation.

    Love Chris x

    #54144
    Lauren
    Keymaster

    @bikerchris 33957 wrote:

    Hi all,

    Just feeding back following my chat with the lovely Nicole this morning. She’s identified that my meal portions are still of the “losing” size rather than the “maintaining” size so has suggested I drop extras from mealtimes like fruit or jelly that I was having and try to eat a larger amount of protein, carbs and veg. I am doubtful how much more I can fit in but I’ll give it a whirl. She says I can always have the fruit later as a snack, or better still a protein snack (instead of a biscuit or two, which I confessed to).

    So I’ll let you know what happens. I asked Nicole if she thought I was just being a bit precious and self obsessed, she kindly said I wasn’t. But maybe I am. As a post wls issue to have, this is a better one than if I’d found my weight loss to be less than my expectation.

    Love Chris x

    Thank you so much for this update, Chris. It’s not as common a worry as not losing enough but a worry nonetheless!

    It’s SO easy to become obsessed with size/weight. Thank goodness you have lovely people like Nicole to help and reassure you.

    I confess to eating rich tea biscuits almost daily – but at least it’s the number of biscuits and not packets that I limit myself to now!!

    Keep us up to date on how you manage to get more protein into your daily diet as it’s of interest to us all. Especially vegetarians and vegans!

    Doodah x

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