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@treeza 33675 wrote:

Hello lovely people

I am now 21 months post bypass & boy has life changed. Thankfully mostly for the better. I am now 14 stone down, gone from BMI of 59 to 32 & I’ve gone from size 30/32 to size 14/16. So now half my size. My goal at the start of this wonderful journey was to get to size 16/18 so I’ve succeeded in that. I would still like to lose another 2 stone so I have to wiggle room so I don’t stress out too much if I bounce back a bit. However much better than all of that I am HAPPIER & HEALTHIER which was the main goal.

I have done so many things that I was unable to do pre surgery & when I look back over the past 21 months I couldn’t be happier. From big achievement to small ones that “normal” people don’t even think twice about.

To everyone on here who has help me on my journey thank you from the bottom of my heart. To all the newbies who are either newly post op, soon to have the surgery or still going through the process I wish you all the very best. Stay strong, believe in yourselves & the surgery. Trust your team, follow the plan & as Doodah always says Be kind to yourself.

My journey has had some ups & downs but in truth it just made me stronger. I’ve always doubted myself & felt a failure I can’t say I don’t still have those moments especially when I’ve had major stalls but my self belief has improved.

5 weeks ago I had my gallbladder removed & then 3 days post op had a rare complication (typical medical person) & ended up having another emergency operation. This has taken its toll on me & I’ve struggled to get back on track with energy levels & recovery. I just think I’m getting there then I drop like a stone. I’m thinking of going back to work next week but really not sure I’m up to it yet!!

I had a very weird experience this evening & I’m sure you’ll all think I’m mad but I thought I’d share it anyway. I was looking through some old photos today & one particular picture when I was probably at my biggest made me cry. Strangely I had a feeling of grief!! I oddly miss that Teresa!!! Don’t get me wrong I never ever ever want to go back there because I hated that Teresa. See I told you it was weird but that was the feeling I had & still do. I’d would be grateful if anyone can explain what that was all about.

Okay must sign off now seen as its 01.40 in the morning.

Hold strong everyone xxx

How fabulous to hear from you again on here!!

I have had the privilege of watching you blossom over the past (almost) two years and I am so, so proud of you. every time you have been knocked down, you got right back up, rolled up your sleeves and started again. Never any backwards steps with you – only ever sideways. You are so strong and brave. I just wish you could see you as we ALL do.

As for grieving for the old you – I think what you are feeling is as near to bereavement as is possible. The old you comforted and supported you through some really rough times. However, although you say you hated the old you, I think you actually loved her – but hated the situation she was in.

Pick what you loved about the old you and carry her forward into your new life. Give her the treats she deserves for never leaving you and always trying her best. Take her on holiday, to the theatre, skiing or even a road trip in the USA. The old you has worked SO hard to help you become the new you but you have to leave some of her behind. That’s what makes you sad.

You are a wonderfully kind and generous person – size isn’t even a factor in that. You have always been loved and you always will be – so after you have been kind to yourself, be kind to the old you and thank her for helping you get to where you are today.

Doodah x

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