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#35088
ruby tuesday
Member

I thought I would just share what I am going through, now the weight loss is showing. Firstly, I do tell shop assistants I am loosing weight, because I keep having to return clothes before I have worn them, and ask for a smaller size! One recently asked how I had done it, and I said smaller portions and excercise, to which she replied ‘Well that’s good to hear as so many people cheat and have a gastric band don’t they, etc.’ I was shocked, and walked away glad I don’t get into personal discussions about surgery with strangers!

Secondly, I have two younger sisters, who were around 6 and 7 when our Mum died, and although they lived with my step-dad, I have effectively been a Mum not a sister to them. The elder is very outspoken and difficult, and when we moved here to be nearer the family after 14 years away from them, she turned funny and broke off all contact, after accusing me amongst other things, of being mad. I had at that point manged to loose all my weight, and we were buying a new house, and trying to find jobs here, so a very stressful time anyway. She also told my other sister and step-dad it was all down to me, so it was very isolating, and I didn’t see my nephew for a year until she turned up, preganant again, and apologised. I don’t think I ever trusted here fully again after that.

I had arranged to have my nephews separately, two mornings over half-term, to do some cooking, and she turned up an hour late the first morning with the youngest, overslept, cancelled dental appt, re-arranged her plans to be taking the elder to pics to see Smurfs, and when I said I had done the cooking, thinking she wasn’t coming, and felt the younger would enjoy the pics more, she stropped off. Next morning, I was expecting the elder child, heard nothing and eventually went to dry my hair, then sent polite text. I got pages of vitriolic reply, they had been round, banged and rung bell, (door was unlocked so not sure why she didn’t come in), eldest child upset.

I phoned her at the end of the day when we came home, ignored all the nasty comments, and said I had been expecting the child, didn’t understand why I hadn’t heard door etc, and when she persisted in argueing, told her I wasn’t going to argue. She was adamnant I should have had the younger child the day before, even when I said she hadn’t let me know she was still coming so late, and wouldn’t listen to me trying to say I made other plans, and put the phone down on me. A further hateful text message followed, saying I was unreliable, and nasty again now I had lost weight like I was last time, when I didn’t talk to her for ages, and to grow up. I have had no contact since, and will not be going to hers for Christmas, and have to arrange to see the kids when they are with her ex. I told my sister and step-dad as I am not having lies told about me again, and they were non-commital and still supporting her as usual.

For me, this feels like your child turning against you, and I am stunned she has mentioned my weight loss as the cause of my expecting other people to show some manners and courtesy. So, not a happy time.

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