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Re: Glass half empty….

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#52930
Lauren
Keymaster

@Daisy 32453 wrote:

Hi everyone. I have spent the past few weeks reading all of your positive and very encouraging stories which have in many ways helped me – thank you. I’ve also googled “gastric bypass” quite a lot which maybe wasn’t such a good idea.

My op is booked for Thursday but I already failed. I lasted 24 hours on the milk diet. I really don’t like milk, the taste and the feel of it in my mouth makes me heave, it took me 3 hours to drink one pint, the second pint I warmed up and put 4 expresso’s in it but I still struggled to drink it. So I went onto the other diet – it was either this or giving up completely. I’m now worried I’ve done more harm than good and I’m waiting to be told off by the surgeon…. maybe I just won’t say anything and hope he doesn’t notice (or read this).

I have lots of support and encouragement from my family and my husband has been amazing and he has walked every step so far with me. But… I have such negative thoughts and really believe after my op (which needs to happen, I don’t really have a choice) my life will be over, I’m not even convinced I will even survive it. I’ve tried to talk myself around to think more positively but I can’t, I just slip back into thinking the very worst. I believe I will become isolated and housebound as I won’t want to go out and certainly won’t want to socialise. I believe I won’t feel human/normal (not that I feel normal now, but I do feel human). I feel like everything is being taken away from me and I have no idea how I’m going to cope. I’m dreading the thought of my hair falling out and any dignity I have left will be lost with (politely put) the “wind”… literally. I fear I will still constantly crave food and want to eat and more so because I won’t be able to. The need for this op wasn’t enough to give me the willpower to achieve loosing weight the normal route, but believe me I did try – you name it I tried it but I always ended up heavier than when I started.

I’ve had some counselling which has helped and as said I have family support and encouragement but I have never in my life felt so alone and scared.

Hi Daisy

Firstly, can I tell you that I am actually pleased that you are thinking about all of this so much, even if it is negatively? It proves that you have seriously considered all the pros and cons and are not going to be fooled into thinking that it will all be a walk in the park. Doubts are healthy!

OK, so you are worried about how much your life will change. You are right to do that! What you are wrong about is that all the changes will be negative ones. Yes, you won’t be able to turn to food for comfort like you used to and yes, you will have wind in the beginning. But, what you WILL have is a happier, healthier and longer life. A life where you will be able to make all the choices, not just the ones you are left with after considering your obesity.

You will be able to travel comfortably, go to the theatre or cinema without worrying about the seat width, take up cycling (should you want to) or even walk for miles. Once this all starts happening, you will be surprised at how much you need food less and less to be your comfort zone. The fact that you have had counselling also helps in the long term (I had three years of therapy) and will mean that you will have a frame of reference for why you did all the comfort eating in the first place (if that is how you put the weight on in the beginning.)

You are not alone. You have your family and friends, us folk on here and the clinical team behind you. Your hand will be metaphorically held by us all in the early days. It’s like having stabilisers on a bike – you will eventually be able to remove them and go on your merry way. We have all felt exactly the same as you do now to a lesser or greater extent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efQEsUp0NVA

This is the Video we made with real patients – I’m the first person to speak on the video and some of the other lovely people on it have become dear friends. Believe me, you will make some friends for life through this whole journey.

As for the milk diet problem – forget it. You tried it, it didn’t work and you were given an alternative. Move on. None of us are perfect and we are all different. I LOVED the milk diet and I still love milk now!

If possible, try to find a support group near you. They are such a comfort. I don’t know what I would have done without my support group friends these past month, as it ends up that we need each other for far more than just the surgery.

You are right to have doubts but Try not to let them overwhelm you. Every single one of us on here will have felt how you feel at some point. Trust your surgeon, the surgery and yourself for the best results. Ask for help when you need it and be kind to yourself. Like I say on the video – put yourself first for once!

I get excited for everyone who is about to embark on this journey. I have seen many, many people freed from the prison of their obesity and go on to do absolutely amazing things – start new jobs, run marathons, travel the world and find true happiness. But the best gift of all is a future. One over which they have control. That will be YOU soon!

Doodah x

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