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@hazelann70 22000 wrote:

LOL, I wish it was me just thinnking I can eat too much. That was just lunch! Breakfast landed up being a latte with a Greg’s chicken pasty (my daughter bought it for herself and gave it to me ffs), then I managed to pooch a ham sandwich in the middle of the day after lunch of my poached eggs on toast, grapes, a banana, 5 coffee’s and I’ve just had a large plate of lasagne and a handful of chips with bread. Later it will be half a big orange, a banana, grapes and about 1/4 of a melon. That’s a good day!!! The scales are telling me how much of a pig I am being as I’ve gained 8lbs in less than 4 weeks. I know it isn’t much but those 8lbs can easilly turn into 8 stone for me if I carry on like I am doing. I just can’t seem to stop myself.
I wanted to speak to Mr Adamo about it all but alas, NHS and all that, my appointment was cancelled in Jan and put back until May. I do really feel I need to talk to someone not only about the amount I can eat and the things I can eat but my whole psych at the moment. It’s not good and I know it. Even my ex husband who I’ve been back with for the last year is suffering and is now only coming round once a week rather than every day. There’s only a certain amount someone can put up with when they are having icicles thrown at them on a daily basis.

Hazel I’m so sorry you are struggling so much. It’s really not fair is it? We just get our lives back on track then something turns up to throw us all off kilter again. And, being who/what we are, we turn to our familiar old ‘friend’ food (who’s intention is to kill us with kindness – some bloody friend.) Diefersmum is right, you need to speak to someone about it as soon as you can. You can request a referral to see a counsellor or get therapy on the NHS. I had 3 years of therapy before my surgery as I knew I would not succeed as well without it. It was cruel, upsetting, unsettling and hard but my life did it help. I think we all need to understand and accept why we continue on our self destructive path before we can take a different one. I discovered things about myself that were as plain as day to everyone else but myself!! It was like having a mirror placed in front of me and really SEEING my own reflection for the first time.

It took time to arrange but even the knowledge that it was going to happen started to make me feel better. Just like wls. The minute you get the go ahead you start to feel life is worth living again. I hope you can get your GP to get the ball rolling for you. Let her/him know how bad things are for you. No doubt that you look fabulous on the outside but if you are suffering on the inside, no one else can see it.

We are all here for you. I never just post on here then walk away and forget about everything and everyone. You guys have all helped me SO much, sometimes possibly without even realising it! You are such a breath of fresh air with your honesty and humour Hazel. You are willing to help everyone else so how about starting with you this time?

Doodah xx

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