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Thanks for all of your support everyone. Today, despite having picked up my first cold in 18 months and feel like a pile of the preverbial, I actually feel more positive with life. Not sure if my huge day long binge was what I needed to get it out of my system but I’ve been really good today and not had food in my head at all. I even resisted having a Subway when I took my daughter on the way to our hospital appointments! I’ve got 4 trays of cakes sat on my dining room table as well and they seem to have gags on them as they are not talking to me at all. I’ve got hot cross buns raising on the side as well and even they’re not calling me. How strange our psychy is at times. I’m not going to shout too loudly though as it’s still only 6:38 and my worst time for food is after dinner but fingers crossed. Perhaps it’s just the process of talking about it that makes us realise what we are doing wrong? Who knows. My ex husband has said he won’t come round every day (we are kind of back together again) and so that’s a weight off my mind as well. Sounds horrible doesn’t it but I think the pressure of him being around all the time was getting to me as well. Maybe it’s not a good idea to get back with someone who irritated the hell out of you for 12 years cos when you start to notice the little things creaping back in, it seems 100 times worse!

So, onward and upward as they say. My sister will be going in for her brain tumour to be removed on Monday hopefully but they can’t/wont do anything about the other ones as they are not causing any problems for her right now. As the cancer is in her system there is no point in removing them apparently as they are now going to start to pop up all over the place. Until they have examined the brain tumour they won’t know what sort of cancer it is but they think it’s secondary to the breast cancer she had 12 years ago. Hopefully they will be able to manage it albeit not cure it. We won’t know until they have looked at it. If it’s aggressive she might have until Easter and if it’s not then she could have 10 years. It’s all a bit of a worry but I’m trying to put it all to the back of my mind. The problem is, she’s a lot older than me (same mum different dad) and when our mum died in 2001 she kind of took over her role for me. I do have another half sister but alas, she’s too wrapped up in her religion and we don’t often call each other although we do get on if that makes any sense?

Thanks again to you all. You have been a tower of strenght to me.

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