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Re: From fit to fat and back again…a Canadian’s tale.

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#37422
Maggie
Member

What a lovely, lovely bunch you are! Honestly, I can’t believe it.
When I first became involved in the process, I was directed towards some forums on a board called ‘Obesity Help’. It was supposed to be my support system, the place where I’d find comfort and help and understanding. Let me tell you guys, it was anything *but*. It was horrible, in fact. I don’t know if you’re aware of the other surgery being performed in North America? It’s called a duodenal switch,
and works primarily by malabsorption. In the Ontario boards, which is naturally where I went, there was an entire group of people who had had the DS instead of the RNY. Everything became about which surgery was best and why. They fought. They said rotten things to each other. It was really endless.
When I tried to voice my opinion I was told off. To me, it wasn’t support in any way, shape or form.
Of course there were decent people, who genuinely tried to offer good advice and give support, but
they were always overshadowed by this endless need to make their surgery better than yours. In the
end I just left. I used to come away from there in tears most of the time, and I realized I’d rather try
and cope on my own, than have to be made to feel so insignificant.
Here I am, over 2 years later, and I finally feel like I’ve found a place where it’s not about which surgery you had, but who you are. Thank you all, so very much.
Brains, let me tell you this luv, it’s been a long time since surgery, and I still wear the same clothes I wore at 330 pounds. There are moments where I still feel like that person, and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I really am 130 pounds lighter. We become that person, and somehow, that is our comfort, and letting it go is very hard. Just try to remember that anyone who didn’t accept you for who you were outside, isn’t worth knowing you on the inside.
Precious, I’m so sorry to hear about all you’ve been through. I know from experience that it hurts,
emotionally AND physically. But you hit the nail on the head when you said that being fat has taught us to be kind. One of my favourite things to say is that one can always lose weight, but one can’t
stop being ugly, inside or outside.
You are all beautiful.

Maggie

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