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Re: Emotional Connection to Food

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#44816
Doodah
Keymaster

@stilltryingsohard 17262 wrote:

WOW! sue
thank you so much for sharing & the trust you have shown
I am so very proud of all you have achieved not just physically via surgery but far more impressive
is how you have taken ownership of and responsibility for your ongoing development
WAY 2 GO GIRL!!!!
tHe only thing I would say is how are you with others when others feel the same and now talk out their feelings and dont hesitate to tell you how they feel?
Is that okay with you
or do you sometimes feel like its a form of ”attack”??
just wondering?
I hope you don’t , mind me asking you?

Of course I don’t mind you asking, Still.

I learnt in my three years of therapy (group) that talking is equally as important as listening. I used to always listen, listen, listen but never talk as I didn’t feel I was worth listening to. Therapy taught me that what I have to say IS important as sometimes, hearing what I have to say can help someone else make sense of their own feelings. I was also taught that I am not responsible for how how people react to what I say.

I could never argue with my parents as I was convinced they would abandon me (no rocket science to work that one out!) Therapy gave me the courage to be direct about how I felt with them. They never abandoned me. They got upset at some of the things I said but they got over it – they even apologised when they realised they were in the wrong!!

I have made it my life’s work to LISTEN to my children. I have told them to tell me immediately if I have done/said something to upset them as only then, can I put it right or apologise.

So, in answer to your brilliant question, NO, I never feel attacked when people are talking about themselves. They are also not responsible if I react badly to what they say – that is MY problem and MY fault (if they are being truthful and reasonable)

I agree 100% that psychological therapy should be compulsorty PRE-op. It would make things so much easier in the long term.
Thank you so much for raising these questions and giving everyone the opportunity to be listened to x

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