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Re: Emotional Connection to Food

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Hi Still

More than happy to share my own personal experiences.

I was raised in a very unusual household that bears more resemblence to a mix of Angela’s Ashes and Little House on the Prairy than anything ‘normal’. My Mum and her 10 brothers and sisters (later found to be 15 of them!) were orphaned and when the eldest two became old enough, they were reunited from thier various orphanges and raised each other. I ended up living back at that house with my Mum (who found herself on her own after we were abandoned by my biological father) and all the other siblings. Mum and my Auntie Lee (Mummy Lee) took it in turns to organise the very little money we had to live on (no benefits in the 50’s!) and their styles of management couldn’t be more different.

Mum was frugal and we ate properly every day of her 2 weeks with no extras or treats. Mummy Lee would give us steak and ice cream for 1 week, then bread and dripping the next. I prefered Mummy Lee’s. My therapist of three years deduced that my binge/starve attitude to food was set by this way of living (I was 18 months old when we were abandoned)

So, the fact that I was bulimic from the age of 15 comes as no surprise to anyone really. That’s when I started to ‘fill out’.
It was my way of coping with emotion until I had my wls. The surgery took away the ability to binge so I was FORCED to find another way to cope. I don’t use food as a crutch anymore. Instead, I TALK, TALK, TALK about how I’m feeling. I tell people if they have upset me and I no longer accept my lot in life. 3 years of therapy have helped me to deal with my abandonment issues and I now try never to bottle things up. I will always WANT to turn to food for comfort – I just no longer can. I’m lucky I have found an alternative.

Hope this all helps in some small way. It’s such an interesting concept and I suspect one that will be pondered for many, many years.

Doodah x

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