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@katy 26593 wrote:

I wanted to ask some advice and see if anyone has been through my current situation.
I had my bypass in march and have since lost nearly 10 stones. My BMi
is now 22.5 and at my last dieticians appointment 3 weeks ago, I was advised to add extra fat into my diet as my weight loss is a bit extreme. I am really pleased with my weight loss but even I can see that I am starting to look a bit ‘skinny’.
My partner pointed out that it’s a good thing that I recognise this and don’t still see a ‘bigger’ person when I look in the mirror as this would really worry her!
My biggest problem is that although I am trying to add extra butter, whole milk etc into my diet, mentally I am finding this a challenge. I would even go as far to say that it is harder than dieting. I am SO afraid of putting the weight back on that I am having a bit of a mental block.
Even with these small additions in my diet, I am still losing and have dropped another 12 lbs since my last appointment. I know the weight loss needs to stop now and I also know that I probably have not reached my plateau yet but I really am struggling with my diet and my fear of weight gain.
Has anyone else had a similar situation?
I have even made a couple of bariatric friendly puddings this week but they have given me terrible tummy ache!
Any advice gratefully recieved!

This does happen. It isn’t common but it certainly does happen.

I understand fully that you are terrified of putting weight back on but, as your partner says, it’s good that you don’t still see ‘big’ when you look in the mirror.

You only started your weight loss journey in March and have lost lots of weight very quickly. Your body will eventually get used to your new way of eating and should start to right itself. I remember after 2 years that I really didn’t want to lose any more as when you reach a ‘certain’ age, your face starts to suffer for it. Eventually, I put on about 4lbs which stopped me from looking ‘gaunt’. I remained this weight until 6 weeks ago when I had my apronectomy done. I lost 7lbs overnight!

It hasn’t impacted on my face as it was surgically removed all from one place so I am quite happy with how I am again. So, what I’m trying to say is, REALLY stop trying to lose weight – don’t just think you are. Don’t become ‘addicted’ to losing – it’s so easily done as we have all spent our lives trying to lose. Trust your surgery to keep you at a healthy weight. Stop counting calories, eat healthily and learn to enjoy food again – just in a new, healthy way. If you truly don’t want to lose anymore, it can be done but if you secretly like losing still, you perhaps should talk to someone about it.

This certainly is not a judgement of your sincerity, as I have been there myself. It’s such a double-edged sword. We get so successful at losing that we don’t want to stop even when we know we should. I hope you don’t mind me being totally honest with you? Sometimes what really needs fixing isn’t in our stomachs but our heads. If it were ME (I would never presume to say to anyone what they should do) I would seek psychological help if you continue to lose. You may not think you are still trying to do so but the evil twin of ‘head hunger’ is ‘head sabotage’.

Hope this helps. And I really hope you know I am only trying to be helpful. I have been in your position and it took some home truths to make me realise that the power to decide what weight we are lies within ourselves – thinner or fatter. I really didn’t want to allow the wonderful tool I’d been given to be defeated by my own desire to keep losing weight.

I have posted on Facebook less than an hour ago that I just cannot eat when I’m cold and hate it as I don’t want to lose anymore weight. So, I shall make every effort to get warm before each meal so that I can finish it. Nutrition is the most important part after all. Especially when I have a huge scar that needs to heal 100%!!

Doodah x

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